And on and on and on

The more things change, the more the past comes up behind you and pats ya on the back.

I went to Anacortes last weekend (and by "weekend", those that know me realize I mean "Sunday only) to take part in our little version of a Quaker mecca. We gather 'round, catch up, and remember stories of what used to be. Then we brush off what little "skills" we have and perform for each other.

Mine was not as good as I wanted it to be. There was a little Alfred Hitchcock homage which I thought was rather inspired... but as for the rest? Eh, could have been better. Our version of the Sound of Music family was of course delightful in their orchestrations. 3 different ones. A force to be reckoned with, that family.

But by going back and visiting old friends, I found someone who wants to go to my "new"er church. So from my old church I have a friend who soon becomes my new friend at my new church. Quakers don't really die off, they just come back for another round. (So long as they stay the same high-quality people, I like it just fine.)

Old timers and old friends

Church compatriots never really disappear, we just saunter off stage to return in a later act.

Take our mutual friend's 100th birthday for example. I don't care how well you know someone, if you get invited to a 100th birthday party, you're going to show up. I mean, how many people does a person meet that attains that sort of mileage? Folks should seize that opportunity because it isn't likely to come along too often.

Attendance was not hurt by the fact that this man is quite the delightful fellow. He gave up life without a hearing aid and driving just this year. He's been plopped in his pew pretty much every Sunday he could. A fun man to visit with, and a good man in a pinch.

Naturally, folks came from all over to celebrate. His doctor was there. Friends that have not attended our church in many years. All to say hello to this fellow. I approve, clearly.

Then of course, there is our annual retreat out by Anacortes. While not officially "The place to be", it very much has a reunion feel about it. If there's one event where we see everyone, that retreat is it. Moreso than Easter, outdoing Christmas; folks gather and flock to stay in breezy cabins and rememeber days gone by around campfires.

You can leave. You can go to another church. But I think folks are just fine in caring for those they've known before.

Gettin' comfy a year later

I have now been attending 2 churches for about a year.

Either I'm becoming quite comfy in my newer church, or my AV background allows me to be obnoxious in the middle of a church service.

One of the female pastors was sharing a bit about a recent missionary trip before she started preaching, and at the beginning she had a little issue with the volume and assumed it would be resolved. It wasn't.

I was about four rows back and I could hear her just fine. Still, I've learned that what I consider perfectly audible, others consider too dang quiet. Five minutes progressed, she showed slides, and her mission trip was discussed rather nicely. As she pulled open her bible to start preaching, I leaned forward slighty, and with my "announcement voice" told her

"You might want to grab a handheld mic because we can't hear you."

She fumbled a bit with her battery pack, one of the techs started talking to her, and eventually she got her switch moved from "standby" to "on".

I'd like to think I didn't embarass her, but I saw no reason to draw attention to it afterwards. I rationalized that if anyone was going to want to hear something, they would want to hear the sermon. And if someone was going to talk back in church, why not me? (Charismatic, we ain't.)

So derive from this two lessons: I have absolutely no problem looking like a jerk in church. I'll mention technical/format issues during your sermon time any day of the week. (Most likely Sunday, I'd assume.) Also, just use handheld mics. With cords. Lapel mics are pure evil.

When it all comes together

Howdy,

Besides the fact that both contain, y'know, Christians, my churches actually have a little link to each other.

There are 7 continents in the world, and about 7 billion people.
There are 1 billion people in Africa, spread out over 61 territories.
There's an area known as Tanzania.
Inside of Tanzania there is a region known as Chamwino.
In that area, there are about 41,000 people. (Man, I do loves me some Wikipedia.)

Guess where both of my churches have sent missionaries to?

A few gals from Quest headed there a week or two ago, and I have a gal in NSFC who has been there two or three times. I'm sure there are some 6 degrees in there somewhere... but what if people who have traveled across the country to help others have met. Even though they only live a few miles from each other. ;)

Coincidence is a load of bull. I'm a big fan of providence. Or, if you need someone more esteemed:

"If coincidences exist, why do they always feel so contrived?" -Fox Mulder

Your brethren- an easy mark

Howdy,

I have to admit that when I need a favor, my church is one of the first places I consider going to. So far I've

• asked for money/donations for my cancer activities
• asked for some help interviewing couples for a movie I'm making
• gotten at least 2 quilts (and countless free meals)
• received some emergency shelter and last minute rides home
• gotten help moving
• gotten an interview... and then a job from my youth pastor
• asked for volunteers/donors for a blood drive

Yes, there's something to be said for a church community which will bail you out (not literally, who do you think I am?) of the hard times.

Maybe it's because I've known these folks for a quarter of a decade. Maybe there's some sort of residual guilt that they know I'll tell my parents if they don't help me.

...or maybe they're just good, decent people who know I wouldn't ask unless it was important to me. Ya never know. ;)

Facebook: Better than Life

Howdy,

I hate to admit it, but Facebook makes connecting with fellow Christians easier. Sigh.

After the church retreat I went to a few weeks ago, it was a piece of cake to find people online and add them as friends. Thanks to FB, I know who is having a tough week, who's scrambling to find a place to live, and who will get a nice little weekend vacation.

Also, I find myself working on what I hope will be a fun little video project. I'll be interviewing couples and finding out how they got to be where they are. And how did I broach the awkwardness of "Hey, you mind if I grill you about your personal lives and question you about your relationship?" Via e-mail. (Easier to reject me that way, that's what I reckon.)

Then there's the gal who had a mini-chat with me over Yahoo Messenger about my belief in God and if I'd ever had God speak directly to me...

Yeah, I now know more about people I sit next to in church by hopping online. And after that starting point... I can now have actual converstations with them. Madness.

I guess that means technology is our friend. Or will help us make friends. Perhaps both...

Apparently it's a Guy Thing

I wouldn't say that I'm completely against male friendships of all sorts, but I don't tend to seek them out.

I've always been a fan of the ladies. On any given day I'd prefer to hang out with them. I'm not a real threat, and they don't seem to burp quite as much as fellows do.

See, with any collection of males even somewhat approximating my age, the conversation seems to drop to a level that just isn't my style. Unless we're talking comics or movies, I just don't have anything to say to them. I have pretty close to no interest in sports. I don't care about beer. And no, I don't want to discuss which females I'd like to see naked.

So imagine my surprise when the guys I go to church with seem to be rather decent fellows. Last week at a church retreat I ended up chatting with quite a few guys, and not once did the issue of "hotness" come up. I even managed to talk with some guys who had the same background as me. Y'know, no great crisis of faith, just a happy and normal childhood.

In church yesterday I happened to be in a group where everyone was a runner, one man was thinking about his daughter going off to college, and one guy was getting ready to go on a missionary trip to Guatemala to provide medical assistance. Nice men, kind guys, males not obsessed with things that I consider base or menial. A pleasant surprise to be sure.

I've always had men in my church who were good people. But people my own age? Craziness. Who are actually people I'd be okay with my sister going out with? (Y'know, if she weren't already married) Well, that just takes me aback.

File it under happy surprises.

Buckle Up, Kids

This evening, I will be off to Yelm. With 3 strangers in my car.

...to my way of thinking, that last phrase just sounds like some low-budget horror flick. (Okay, it might be a comedy, but either way, somebody's gettin' left at the side of the road in some dark wilderness area. Complete with low-laying fog and wolves. And coyotes.)

Yet, it is untrue. At least I hope so. In theory it will all be a jovial church-sponsored romp down to a retreat.

What can I say? The five minutes of greeting time at church doesn't really enable close, lifelong bonds to be established. Plus people always have somewhere to go after church. But a retreat? Yeah, you're stuck there. You paid to be stuck there. Get comfy.

There you have it. The story of an introvert trying to chat it up with some fellow Quest-ers. If it were indoors, I'd bail. This is happily not the case. I like being outdoors. I wear flannel for a reason.

Plus I get to ride a horse. Which I haven't done this millenia. That'll be nice. As for the rest of it? God only knows, right?

Outnumbered isn't entirely bad...

I admit it, I ain't perfect.

A notion which I am sure you were all aware of, but should you need an incident of proof to warrant such a bold statement? I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in church on Sunday. (I maintain that it is not entirely reasonable to work a double, sleep a little, go running, and then be groggy in church.) Regardless, it happened and I was either alseep or just plain zoned out for the message. Whoops.

However, I was encouraged to hear that we were being prayed for. The week before the church had gone all Quakerly and didn't actually have a message. Gasp! We sat and prayed and sung hymns and just let it be all loosey-goosey. Gasp gasp! As a part of that, they stuck some post-its inside each bulletin and encouraged us to write down any prayer requests and stick 'em to the walls on the sides of the sanctuary.

I'm not a huge fan of standing in front of church and having the congregation pray for me. (I like any attention paid to me to be under my control. Y'know, dressing up like Batman, speaking Spanish, just plain being goofy.) Writing down a few little lines on a postit and slapping it up on a wall? I can do that. I went the "subtle" route and blended with the communion line.

Well, the next week (Sunday), Eugene told us we were being prayed for and that the pastors would walk through the room during the weekedays and he read some prayers in the service and ya get the idea. Made me feel a little better. I reckon its mostly because I'm slowly learning more and more to let go of things and let God take control.

Including my sleep schedule apparently...

Social Upgrading

Both my churches are big fans of global justice. We want the world to become a better place, and we'd like to think that we can help in some small matter.

Not surprisingly, the "cooler" of the two churches focuses most of their efforts on Asia. The congregation is largely Korean, so I don't see any reason why they wouldn't focus on Korean and island nations.

"Quakerville" is a little more old-fashioned. We stick to good ol' Africa. (You can always find plenty of poor and hungry folks in Africa. Always.)

Still, with all our care and concern for missions, it surprises me how often we're taken aback. I wasn't aware that human trafficking was more popular now than ever. Still, given the amount of dirt-cheap products being cranked out, I can't say that I was horribly shocked.

Yesterday the congregation of my home church was told that 4 million people had died in the Congo wars and that 100,000 women had been raped with very little judicial action against such a heinous crime. I'm not sure which is worse; the number of people who didn't have any clue and were completely shocked, or the fact that I wasn't surprised at all.

Plenty of people in the world to care about. But with 6.5 billion people and limited time, there are many that slip through the cracks and out of our scope of knowledge.

The day wasn't a complete somber-fest. I had probably the best hand-holder next to me in church. (Hand-holding/shaking is a lost art...)

That little "cool" factor

An area I'm still adjusting to is that I'm not used to being "Cool". Quakers aren't cool. We're spiffy, but not cool. We sit around in our family groups or are collections of people over 50 and enjoy the quiet.

In new-churchville, there are multiple group singers and musicians, discussions about Darth Vader equals Sanhedrins, and endless references to Facebook.

During our weekly "turn around and greet people section", I found at that a gal I went to high school with was sitting right behind me. She'd since moved to Oregon with her husband, but was told that this church was "the place to be".

...? That would never have happened to me at my Quaker homestead. The only high schooler I've ever seen there was the one I brought there -way- back in 1998. Oy.

I suppose as long as God is present it doesn't really matter... either way I'm just going to wear my same jeans and simple shirt. Sorry, no flashy/neato purposefully untucked button-up shirts or blazers for me. ;)

The sights and sounds of defeat

Arrgh.

One of the many things I enjoy about having a "newer" church is that nobody really expects anything from me. I don't have to help with offering, no one knows I have sound board experience, and except from "kind of" helping to deal with LCD projectors? They really don't know what this little projectionist can do to assist their service. So they don't ask. So I get to sit in the audience and just be one of the crowd with no responsiblities.

However, this doesn't mean that the service runs smoothly without me. It doesn't. At least one song a service, the powers that be will lose track of what's going on and be incapable of keeping the songs advance on the screen. Lyrics get fuddled. Guess what, we don't have any hymnals or print outs to help us along! Once you folks mess, I pretty much resign myself to being done with the song and hoping you figure it out in time for the song after that.

The nice side of me wants to believe that they're trying. That they aren't getting paid for this, and they're just attempting to help out in whatever way they can. Plus, I don't have to worry about running AV for two churches.

The perfectionist in me wants to turn around and yell up at the booth, "What are you people doing up there?! They just said the first line they're about to sing, find that slide and you're golden! C'mon now!!!"

Sigh.

I enjoy being able to mingle (even though I don't do it much). But I also enjoy a good performance. You don't see me allowing dirt on my screen at work, do you?

So I either adjust to the fact that I'll be grumpy for a song or two, or I get off my lazy little church-bum and find myself in the same position for two churches. Neither sounds very appealing.

You're not supposed to have "lesser of two evil" decisions to make when you're just trying to worship God, darnit!

A trivial matter, to be sure. But one that just doesn't want to go away...

Sick of Flu-stuff

I'm an touchy-feely kinda guy. I hug. I embrace. I grab coworkers by the waist and pull them off their feet.

Which means when I get little notes and comments from church telling me that we're going to be skipping the hand holding at the end of church? That we should respect others' wishes to keep their germs to themselves and vice versa?

Sigh.

My immune system is rather spiffy, so I suppose I can't really complain about too much. But I don't especially enjoy standing across from someone, talking to them with my hands safely tucked into my pockets.

I suppose it all works out for people you really want to hug though. "I love you so much, it's worth getting sick just to be near ya!" A swell pick up line, sure. But I'll be happy when this whole paranoia of "the bug" is over.

One day...

Gettin' those relationships...

When I started this whole church-search thing (which, in case you've missed me sayin' so, is over. I'm a stick-with-what-works kinda guy. I feel fine, thanks), one of my goals was to meet some nice, cute, interesting Christian gals.

And I have.

More importantly, I'd like to think I have a pretty fair start at a friendship with a rather interesting gal. We've e-mailed and now we're even Facebook pals. Awww....

Oh yeah, and she's engaged. (Twist!)

Yes, I will take whatever relationships come my way. Jogging buddies, church compatriots, female acquaintances, and even "more". But I'm rather content with what's come my way.

First off, she's a nice gal. Interesting. Family had a rough start, born Jewish, just got baptised last week (or is that last-last week now? I dunno.), an interesting person to be sure.

Then there are the cats at my small groups home who are ridiculously tiny and cute and don't mind me picking them up and mercilessly petting them. ;)

I have the people I can't live without. I have my associates. My coworkers. My fellow congregates. And some folks that are a gloriously messy hybrid of the above. All in all, I'd say I have a stash of interesting and amusing relationships.

Besides, if you're working on a relationship with Christ, why not start off with other mere mortals? They're good people, darn it.

See it, believe it; ideally, both

1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face."

I see things much easier and understand them much deeper when I have a picture right in front of me. People always tell the single person that "there are plenty of fish in the sea." The phrase becomes downright annoying and trite. However, when that single person gets out into the world and actually sees all the people around, it rings true and the cliche aspect falls away.

For me, it is rather hard for me to know that I'm surrounded by Christians when Seattle doesn't exactly encourage following the mainstream religious beliefs. Great for people who don't want to be locked into "a certain way" of worshiping, but rather poopy for someone who just wants to talk about God with someone. My delight was rather high up on the scale when I sat in a school auditorium on Easter Sunday, realizing that I was in a room full of people who shared the beliefs that I did, and most of them were around my age. Quite encouraging.

My Mom has no interest in watching Saving Pvt. Ryan or The Passion of the Christ. She can imagine the horrors and details well enough in her brain without exposing herself to that level of gore or pain. Myself, I don't think I need to see every heinous crime re-enacted for me on screen to know that the world is in trouble. However, I would offer that the visual now and then can come in handy. I own Passion and have seen it three times since it was released in theaters. That's just about right for me. I can get an idea of the kind of suffering that Christ suffered and appreciate the fact that it clearly wasn't easy for him. He didn't want to go through that sort of pain. Hits it home a bit better for me.

One of my favorite persons in the world isn't really looking for a church. She is considering the idea of going to a Quaker meeting, but she and her fiancee are rather content to see God in nature. To take examples from what is all around them and apply it to their lives. I can relate.

After a reasonable sermon at church, I trotted off to my quasi-regular jogging location, and started circling around. As I passed a rather large grass patch, I noticed that some folks had taken quite the span of time to erect thousands and thousands of plastic white crosses. After my run I went up to their little tent and found out that it was the Northwest Memorial to the Iraq War. They were quite nice people. They weren't saying war is good or bad. Their group is made up of all kinds of folks. They just wanted to remind people that war costs lives. That people from all over the world, (Australia, Germany, Iraq, Africans) were dying. They wanted people to process the million+ people who had died in a war. By the crowds they had and the attitude I saw of people walking though, looking at all the names, I'd say it worked.

No, don't visualize everything. There isn't time and I am pretty sure it would start to lose its effectiveness. You think you are over-inundated now... oy. Still, visuals help. I think that's why Jesus was such a fan of the parable. You can hear something and think about it in church, but seeing it in front of you can make all the difference.

Easter-ized

Howdy,

Y'know what the difference is between a guy who has lived all of his conscious life in a church of 40-60 people versus a guy who is visiting an Easter service so large that they have to borrow a school's auditorium? Or have you guessed already...

Folding chairs, we were reduced to folding chairs! I started off pretending that I was going to be okay in timidville, sitting about four rows from the back. But then I saw the green-cushioned chairs, which looked much more comfortable than the all-metal chairs I was currently sitting on. No one was going to notice, people were still dabbling with adjustments, so I went ahead and sat in the third-from the front row. My tushie thanked me. Two hours later, I was quite fidgety. I can't imagine what it would have been like in those metal chairs. I shudder to think.

I'll give the pastor credit. He tried. He tried darn hard to get me to stay after and enjoy the Easter meal. I see-sawed on the issue. The better part of me likes to think that I have the skills to introduce myself to a room full of strangers and get all kinds of chatty with them. Then there's the normal side of me that cherishes the one day a week I'm guaranteed no work. A nice couch at home, a stack of DVDs, and a sleepy cat all awaited me. I helped pack chairs into the truck, looked around the crowd... and the lazy side won.

On one hand, I missed my old church. Not one single person greeted me with "He is risen!" So naturally I couldn't respond with, "He is risen Indeed!" Sigh. The pastor did toss it into his sermon, but he had to say it again to get a response from us.

Looking at hand #2, I'll admit one thing: It's nice to look at a crowded room and know that you're among Christians. That there are hundreds of people around you that believe in God and want to do the right thing.

I'm not saying one service would have been better than the other. I'm not sure which one I would have liked better. But it's one more change I have to either get used to, or learn to do without.

Oh, how to worship God. It's a back and forth, I tell ya!

Just leave me be

Howdy,

Happily, the chapter I read in Acts today and the chapter that was preached on yesterday were essentially the same topic. Even better, I agree with the message!

I was reading in Acts (9? Methinks?) about Peter being given the dream about the net with all of God's creations and how everyone is created by God. Everyone is "good enough".

In church, they discussed the section in Matthew where Jesus goes to the temple and knocks over the tables because of all the shady deals that are happening. They're charging high interest rates for exchanges/sacrifices, making it hard for people to worship in their way. Jesus is trying to take out the middle man so that they can just go to God. Be "enough", as they are.

Sometimes I'll dress the part. When I first started going to Quest I wore slacks and a button up shirt. Sunday, being Easter, I may very well go back to that because it's a "special occasion". That being said, I'm not really one for bending to other people's expectations.

I'm a scruffy looking kind of guy. The hair ain't fashionable, but it sure is manageable. My goatee isn't perfect. Odds are, if you look hard enough, you'll find a cat hair. I look "fine", but never pristine". I like my bible with duct tape on the edge. I don't care that my front bumper has seen better days. (Stupid snow)

I'm quite glad I can be a leper or a prostitute and still be loved. (Neither of which I aspire to. Still, good to know I have options) Sure I'll help be respectful and respectable when I need to be. All in all though, I'd rather ya just take me at face value.

Out of the "office"

As far as protocol goes, I was a pretty lousy Christian.

I wasn't in church once! No home church. No new "hip" church. Nope, instead I was partaking in the Big Climb. Annual fundraiser to get folks to give money to leukemia and lymphoma research. In return, I walked up a flight of stairs. Twice. (Shrugs) Somehow it all works out and they get mucho dinero.

The on Monday night I skipped small group (c-group, bible study; call it whatever makes ya happy) because a friend of mine was having a CD release party. I still have a cassette tape he made in high school. When you've been friends for 13 years... you're kinda obligated. ;)

With all that, it felt like a bit of a God-less week. I have two female friends who I absolutely love to death and can't imagine them being unChristian. But they both say they don't feel like attending church right now. Actually, I can think of three. One doesn't like the feeling of forced community, one didn't like the gossip that was being portrayed as "Christian concern", and another decided to do what she wanted to do and became ostracized from her Christian peers.

Feels like the church (as people) kinda failed those gals. I live a pretty quiet life, so there really isn't any gossip to deal with. I slide into church, have a good time, and can slide out with as little conversation as I please.

Still, the Sunday service focuses me. The Monday night bible study teaches me things I hadn't considered before. I value those kinds of experiences.

I didn't pray before I went up the stairs. I didn't bless my friend's synthesizer before he started to perform. No, I read my bible some, did my standard praying in the morning, and hoped that God was taking care of my friends. Not as God-less as I made it out to be.

With all that said, I appreciate the weekly touchpoint that Sunday services can provide.

Now we'll see how well I can attend and enjoy both services I plan to go to tomorrow. (I still think 3 ours of churchness is a fair chunk!) Toodles

A Sunday with no church. And I'm planning it that way!

Yes, scandal of scandals; this is the one Sunday a year where I plan to skip church.

http://www.llswa.org/site/TR/Events/BigClimb?px=1071381&pg=personal&fr_id=1040

I figure it falls under the purview of Jesus healing on the Sabbath. (No, I'm not claiming to be just like Jesus! I'm just sayin', if it's good enough for him...) Hey, it's only one Sunday a year, right?

If nothing else, I consider it a way of thanking God for sparing my best friend and letting her survive cancer.

Best case scenario, I get some folks and friends to donate to a good cause. I get nothing out of it except exercise and time with my loved ones. (Well, maybe I'll get a mug and t-shirt. Nothing of "significant material or financial value", how's that?)

Breakin' the rules. And still okay with it. Go figure. ;) I reckon God'll understand and forgive me.

Who knows, God might even bless me too!

Active, Involved, but not Employed

I have an agenda.

There, I said it. I still feel that it is a pretty harmless agenda, though. I think it would be nice to have conversations with people in church.

I know! Scandal!

Two Sundays ago? Sat next to a nice little couple, quite delightful to talk to. Had a brief chat with them this week while I was engaged in a task, and I actually remembered them and their faces. What can I say, in a new church I want to engage people.

Old church, I pretty much know everybody. I don't need to sit next to them during church, I can converse with them afterwards quite easily. We can just pick up where we left off and not have to worry about "who you are and what you're about". Just hop right into the details.

New church, not so much. I know -maybe- 3 people in any given Sunday. Odds of me sitting next to someone I know? Unlikely.

Which doesn't mean I don't see opportunities to help. For example, their slideshows? Arrrgh. Half the time I just want to run up and find out of they are paying attention. The singers jump around, I admit. All singers tend to. But sometimes the slides are just plain bad. However, if I'm up there running the powerpoint? Well then I'm just back in my role from the old church, and I'm unlikely to converse with anyone. Not my ideal scenario.

My small group is trying to organize a blood drive, so we needed to make an announcement. I'm quite used to yelling at large crowds of people, giving them information, and letting them return to their anonymous existences. I volunteered for the first sermon. No one seemed willing to "have a presence" for the second services, so I gave the shpiel for that one too. (For the record? The second shpiel was -much- funnier. But they only laughed at one joke! Oh well.)

Helping out where I can interact? Where I'm allowed to engage people? That I'll do.

Being trapped in the same surroundings I'm take the here-and-there break from?

Nope. Not yet.

Changin' It Up (From the comfort of my own couch)

Yesterday was the exception that prooves the rule.

Normally I'm only to happy to go to church every Sunday. Get out, surround myself with Christian folk, and sit up straight in a chair. (I still maintain that it is physically impossible to sit up straight in a wooden pew for any length of time greater than half an hour.)

Emphasis on "Normally". I don't know what it was yesterday. Maybe because I woke up late from my morning nap and would have had to rush. Maybe my commute to Ballard/Belltown is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just a lazy son of a gun. For whatever reason, I ditched the outside world. I don't think I even unlocked the door all day. Stayed home with the cat and the couch.

My standard Sunday consists of a barrage of tv-dom, and yesterday was no exception. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. The Incredibles. Stargate: SG-1. Still, I figured I needed something resembling a sermon/message, so it would have to be either VeggieTales or The Passion of the Christ. My stomach is stronger than my mom's, so I went for the second option.

I'm still impressed by the movie. Take away the buckets of fake blood and it really is a beautifully shot flick. The moody building where we see Judas make his deal. The shots of the moon as the clouds roll by. The hilltop where it all happens. My favorite part is where Jesus is building a table and has a nice conversation with his mom. Good stuff. Helps me see Jesus in a more human light.

For example: Jesus is walking (perhaps limping would be a better description) with his cross on his back, trying to get up the hill. His mom sees all this and tries to run to his side. The look in his eyes (Jim Caviezel was quite excellent, as always) just showed how much he cared for this woman. It brings up a quote/idea which I fully subscribe to;

Don't ever underestimate what a person will do for someone they love.

I find that to be mind-numbingly true. People will stay in battered relationships. They'll endure hours of childbirth or midnight shifts to cover the bills. People will absolutely throw logic and caution to the wind if it means helping someone they care about more than themselves.

So when I see that look pass between Jesus and Mary, I don't see a fake-blood soaked actor in a foreign country with carefully planned cameras and lighting. I see someone who loves this person, and countless others, and is willing to undergo whatever suffering and agony he has to in order to save their lives.

If someone said I could save the lives of everyone I knew by being shot, I'd like to think I'd still do it. (Doesn't mean I'd like it...)

Kudos also go to the person that helped Jesus carry the cross. And of course, to one of my favorite people in the bible, the criminal. He sees Jesus up on the cross, bleeding and dying. If there was ever a time when you could doubt this person, it would be then. But that's the time that he chooses to believe and asks Jesus to take care of him. Bruised, cut, and soon to have his life expire, Jesus still takes the time to care for someone else.

Yes, I'm aware that there may be historical inaccuracies. The cross may have been shaped like a T, not a t. Maybe this person was here instead of that person. I don't really care. Details are just that, little things to make a picture clearer. In this instance, all I care about is the story.

The story is of a man who went through inordinate suffering (I'll spare you the cinematic details. It's rated R for a reason) just to take care of the rest of us. Many who he didn't know at the time. So I got a reminder of that.

Sounds like a perfectly good church service to me.

Like the Michael Jackson song says...

Yes, I am ashamed to be using Michael to introduce this writing. But I couldn't think about a more interesting way to chat about, as the song goes, "If you're black or white".

One of the things I appreciate about both my churches, though probably moreso the newer one, is the willingness to have anybody and everybody come in. I think it goes pretty evenly for both churches, but since Quest is bigger, you get a broader spectrum. In my home church, I have a black man married to a caucasian and they have a little dark skinned youngin. I think he's quite cute. And I'm thrilled that nobody minds in the least. (Why some would find it offensive, I'd rather not get into. But I know there are people out there that do.)

In church on Sunday, I took up my usual chair in my new church. I sat where I always sit; the middle of the middle. Around the second or third song, up came a couple who plopped down next to me. He was Korean, she was caucasian, and none of us really seemed to care. They were both perfectly friendly and delightful, and they seem happy together. What more do I need to know?

Over in a nearby section was someone who had a distictive lesbian vibe to her, and my understanding is that there are about twelve homosexuals that attend. Okay. God loves everybody, right? Do I need to follow a stricter guideline than God's? I don't think so.

Be different. Form interesting couples. Add some flavor. I'm quite the character myself and I slap the "Christian" label on my forehead. Works just fine for me, so who am I to tell others to do otherwise?

A little change o' pace

Sometimes my favorite church services have been a completely unplanned mess. Sometimes ya just gotta chuck the sermon to the wind and let God work in God's own strange ways.

In my home church, if the pastor feels like they aren't supposed to give a message, they won't. Both the current pastor of the church and the one before that. If God tells them to sit down and shut up (which I'm sure God does in a kindlier, less offensive manner), then they do. Maybe we'll end up singing songs out of the hymnal. Maybe we'll all just listen to what's been going on in other people's lives a bit more than usual; hear how God is working in their daily walks. Suits me just fine. Sermon, no sermon, it works.

This Sunday was a bit like that, and it was a nice change of pace. Sang some songs, had some announcements, and then a fellow (Trace Bruno? I think?) who was in town and is having a concert next month came up and played a song on his guitar. Watching a guitar player is always more fun that simply listening to one. He was moving his little wooden clamps, slapping the paneling and the strings, he clearly has his own style and has spent quite a few years on it.

Then they called up some gals from The Sold Project (www.thesoldproject.org). They tried to show a video... let's just say this newer church of mine has some difficulty getting their AV act in synch. They callled up the two gals, and we got a quick little lesson on the international slave trade, and how The Sold Project was created to confront the problem through helping people in Thailand and educating folks about what was going on. The DVD played, and we heard a little bit more about it.

Following that was a brief sermon about the disciples who cured the slave girl of her prophecy gift, and upset the masters because they had been deprived of their income. It referenced the scripture a little, but mostly it built upon the importance of being aware of slavery.

Then we sang some more, Trace played some more, and there was that grand ol' communion. I don't think we focused on any one aspect of church for more than ten minutes in a row. It would probably be a bit too fragmented for my tastes to do it on a regular basis. For this one time though, it was a nice break from the norm. Got an education on all sorts of things. All focused around God. Not too shabby.

Quaker Catholic?

Y'know, many a time I think that Catholics must be nuts. Going to church every morning. Enduring hours long services. Marriages that feel like marathons. The baptism, the hierarchy, the rigid structure. Catholicism always struck me as the army of Christianity. Ya do what you're told, ya follow the rules, ya work hard at it, and it all comes off as a first class operation.

I don't know many Quakers that have crossed over to Catholicism (or vice versa).. My "brand" of Quaker tends to be more liberal. We can do without a message. We can be loosey-goosey and go where the spirit leads us. We're encouraged to read our bibles everyday, but we're going to be okay if you feel the need to skip church every now and then.

This is not to say that I am not drawn in by certain elements. I think a strict structure would keep me on my toes. I'd probably have a few more scriptures memorized, which wouldn't be the worst thing. Besides, if you can survive all those sermons, you'd have any troubles with ADD beaten.

Yesterday, in particular, I was struck with the idea of confession. From where I'm sitting, it is a required version of someone to talk things over with. How could that be a bad thing? They're pastors, they have to forgive ya... right? You would always have someone to talk things over with. Shoot, you'd be encouraged to.

I have friends. I have co-congregants. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of someone (other than Mom, of course) that I talk to about God-stuff. Yes, everyone has their own walk with God and it is deeply personal. So personal that sometimes people don't want to talk about it. But ya toss that confession in the mix and you get yourself quite the little release.

Doesn't sound like a terrible idea to me. Even if I do prefer being loosey-goosey.

Getting Centered

Howdy,

Sunday was a distraction kind of day. There's someone who has been on my mind, and I'm planning to dress up as Batman this weekend and walk downtown for a few hours. ...it's for work. Honest. I sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to take my mind off of little world things in my life that don't really matter and focus on God.

Went into church, took a seat, closed my eyes, it was starting to work. Well, it didn't help that I work under the Space Needle and they picture they showed was of the Space Needle, but still. Every little ounce of progress counts, right?

Songs were going well. I had a nice voice singing behind me during the first set of songs. I even turned around and complimented her during the awkward-chatting-social time, but she seemed to think it wasn't her; that there was some better voice behind her. (I checked over my shoulder later. It was her. Humble, good for her.)

Of course, during the message, the scripture was being projected onto the screen in front of us, when all of a sudden there was a loud -pop-. In my 6 days a week life, I play with LCD projectors all the time. I thought to myself "They either flipped a breaker, or they popped the bulb." The projector didn't come back to life (which makes it really hard to sing along with songs). And I noticed the red and green lights on the projector were blinking away. That means two things: A, it has power. So no break issue. B, when lights blink that much? It is either a warning or an indicator. No good.

So I spent the rest of service thinking about the bulb and wondering if these folks had any idea what was going on and if I should go up to the pastor and tell him and if the bulb could be replaced by the next service which was only twenty minutes away.... sigh.

At least I got the gist of the message before I was horribly distracted. Thirty-forty minutes being focused just on God... that's something, right?

And as a bonus, I got to stand on two wobbly ladders after the service. Can't say I didn't have fun...

Sleepiness

I'm starting to wonder what my small group thinks of me. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, a lifelong Christian, and I don't smell like a musk ox that found its way into a garbage heap. Now if only I could stay awake.

Here lies the problem. I tend to have a double shift on Fridays, which usually means I'm at work for around eighteen hours. If I have a double on Saturdays as wel, then I'm in a world of sleeping hurt. Sunday is my day to catch up on sleep. After church, I come home, crash, and end up becoming one with the couch. The problem is, when I sleep at two in the afternoon, it makes it much harder for me to be asleep at two in the morning.

Such was the case with me this Monday. I had woken up at two a.m. Nothing more I could do about it, no more sleep was to be had, I was just going to be awake. I arrived at work around five a.m. Worked/ was there until about six p.m. Took a friend for hot chocolate, basically just tried to kill time until my small group at seven thirty p.m. If you have started doing the math, you can get why this is intrinsically difficult for me.

My brain tends to decrease in function around eight or eight thrity at night. I find it essentially useless to try and read. Then try and combine that with the notion of being upright for the last nineteen hours. By the time small group is over, I have usually been awake somewhere around twenty hours. (Using the term "awake" as a sliding scale")

That's all just build-up to this question: Is it worth it?

Usually, yes. Somehow I can sneak in a half hour nap and that carries me through until ten p.m. Or I get a Friday night off. Something. In those moments I find that the conversation is intelligent and God-inspired and I can hopefully add to it. Or it can be like it was last week.

My newest "trick" is to start standing about halfway through the second half of our meeting and just lightly walk back and forth. Hopefully it isn't too distracting; it is the only way I can maintain consciousness. This week I outdid my self. I had the bible on the chair in front of me, I was leaning over to read the bible, and I think for a half a second I nodded off because I felt my vertical stance slipping and I jerked my head awake. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep whiile standing up?

I would much like an earlier start time, but the morning people of this world, including myself, have to have some disadvantages. I just hope that I'm not disrupting anyone else there and that they understand that I'm trying.

Moral of the story: Naps pay off. Embrace them.

Here's hoping I get points for trying..

Group Hug. Well, at least gather...

I rather like my alone time. My cat tends to provide more than enough interaction for my day to day routine. (Especially when she overeats and get to interact with her meal. Sigh.) However, my churches don't really see it that way.

At my newer church, the pastor gave a sermon on the sacraments, specifically communion. To him, communion is the one thing at church that he will not skip. He can leave out the sermon, the songs can be glossed over, everything is up for grabs if it really needs to be. Except communion. To him, communion is the defining way in which we interact with God, and participate in a physical remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Due to the grand importance of the manner, he feels that we should be sharing that experience. He thinks all experiences should be shared. He won't do private baptisms, private weddings; none of that. He is all about the group/community experience.

And because I'm a wild and crazy guy, (thanks Steve Martin) and because it was the first Sunday of the new year, I figured I should just go to my old church and check in with folks. Talked about my parents coming to town, talked about people and their jobs. Heard about people's sons and general church day to day stuff. Nothing horribly earth-shattering, but I was certainly able to slide right back into that group pretty darn easily.

I like doing things on my own. I spent pretty much all of Monday just being by myself and watching movies. After church on Sunday, I essentially did the same thing. Reading, movies, I like things quiet. (One very strong reason why I can't live in downtown.) It isn't that I plan to stay single all my life and become crazy cat-man who sits on his front porch in his rocking chair yelling at kids as they throw things at his house. (To be fair, although I do have a cat and a rocking chair, I have yet to acquire the front porch. So I'm safe for now.) But I'm all for convenient interaction.

I read my bible on my own. I pray in my head or when I'm alone in the car. I enjoy my bible groups and interaction, sure. But do I make the effort to connect with people around me? Share the church experience? Well, let's just say that I don't always go to the fullest row of seats...

Yeah, "doing church" as a group is something I've sort of dropped out of, if I was ever that good at it in the first place. I often sat on the "youth" pew, but with the exception of the cute girl I had a crush on here or there, I was just as happy to sit with mom (she had candy) or by myself (more leg room).

I guess that means I have to talk to more than two people a week, huh? This is gonna take some work...