And on and on and on

The more things change, the more the past comes up behind you and pats ya on the back.

I went to Anacortes last weekend (and by "weekend", those that know me realize I mean "Sunday only) to take part in our little version of a Quaker mecca. We gather 'round, catch up, and remember stories of what used to be. Then we brush off what little "skills" we have and perform for each other.

Mine was not as good as I wanted it to be. There was a little Alfred Hitchcock homage which I thought was rather inspired... but as for the rest? Eh, could have been better. Our version of the Sound of Music family was of course delightful in their orchestrations. 3 different ones. A force to be reckoned with, that family.

But by going back and visiting old friends, I found someone who wants to go to my "new"er church. So from my old church I have a friend who soon becomes my new friend at my new church. Quakers don't really die off, they just come back for another round. (So long as they stay the same high-quality people, I like it just fine.)

Your brethren- an easy mark

Howdy,

I have to admit that when I need a favor, my church is one of the first places I consider going to. So far I've

• asked for money/donations for my cancer activities
• asked for some help interviewing couples for a movie I'm making
• gotten at least 2 quilts (and countless free meals)
• received some emergency shelter and last minute rides home
• gotten help moving
• gotten an interview... and then a job from my youth pastor
• asked for volunteers/donors for a blood drive

Yes, there's something to be said for a church community which will bail you out (not literally, who do you think I am?) of the hard times.

Maybe it's because I've known these folks for a quarter of a decade. Maybe there's some sort of residual guilt that they know I'll tell my parents if they don't help me.

...or maybe they're just good, decent people who know I wouldn't ask unless it was important to me. Ya never know. ;)

Outnumbered isn't entirely bad...

I admit it, I ain't perfect.

A notion which I am sure you were all aware of, but should you need an incident of proof to warrant such a bold statement? I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in church on Sunday. (I maintain that it is not entirely reasonable to work a double, sleep a little, go running, and then be groggy in church.) Regardless, it happened and I was either alseep or just plain zoned out for the message. Whoops.

However, I was encouraged to hear that we were being prayed for. The week before the church had gone all Quakerly and didn't actually have a message. Gasp! We sat and prayed and sung hymns and just let it be all loosey-goosey. Gasp gasp! As a part of that, they stuck some post-its inside each bulletin and encouraged us to write down any prayer requests and stick 'em to the walls on the sides of the sanctuary.

I'm not a huge fan of standing in front of church and having the congregation pray for me. (I like any attention paid to me to be under my control. Y'know, dressing up like Batman, speaking Spanish, just plain being goofy.) Writing down a few little lines on a postit and slapping it up on a wall? I can do that. I went the "subtle" route and blended with the communion line.

Well, the next week (Sunday), Eugene told us we were being prayed for and that the pastors would walk through the room during the weekedays and he read some prayers in the service and ya get the idea. Made me feel a little better. I reckon its mostly because I'm slowly learning more and more to let go of things and let God take control.

Including my sleep schedule apparently...

Changin' It Up (From the comfort of my own couch)

Yesterday was the exception that prooves the rule.

Normally I'm only to happy to go to church every Sunday. Get out, surround myself with Christian folk, and sit up straight in a chair. (I still maintain that it is physically impossible to sit up straight in a wooden pew for any length of time greater than half an hour.)

Emphasis on "Normally". I don't know what it was yesterday. Maybe because I woke up late from my morning nap and would have had to rush. Maybe my commute to Ballard/Belltown is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just a lazy son of a gun. For whatever reason, I ditched the outside world. I don't think I even unlocked the door all day. Stayed home with the cat and the couch.

My standard Sunday consists of a barrage of tv-dom, and yesterday was no exception. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. The Incredibles. Stargate: SG-1. Still, I figured I needed something resembling a sermon/message, so it would have to be either VeggieTales or The Passion of the Christ. My stomach is stronger than my mom's, so I went for the second option.

I'm still impressed by the movie. Take away the buckets of fake blood and it really is a beautifully shot flick. The moody building where we see Judas make his deal. The shots of the moon as the clouds roll by. The hilltop where it all happens. My favorite part is where Jesus is building a table and has a nice conversation with his mom. Good stuff. Helps me see Jesus in a more human light.

For example: Jesus is walking (perhaps limping would be a better description) with his cross on his back, trying to get up the hill. His mom sees all this and tries to run to his side. The look in his eyes (Jim Caviezel was quite excellent, as always) just showed how much he cared for this woman. It brings up a quote/idea which I fully subscribe to;

Don't ever underestimate what a person will do for someone they love.

I find that to be mind-numbingly true. People will stay in battered relationships. They'll endure hours of childbirth or midnight shifts to cover the bills. People will absolutely throw logic and caution to the wind if it means helping someone they care about more than themselves.

So when I see that look pass between Jesus and Mary, I don't see a fake-blood soaked actor in a foreign country with carefully planned cameras and lighting. I see someone who loves this person, and countless others, and is willing to undergo whatever suffering and agony he has to in order to save their lives.

If someone said I could save the lives of everyone I knew by being shot, I'd like to think I'd still do it. (Doesn't mean I'd like it...)

Kudos also go to the person that helped Jesus carry the cross. And of course, to one of my favorite people in the bible, the criminal. He sees Jesus up on the cross, bleeding and dying. If there was ever a time when you could doubt this person, it would be then. But that's the time that he chooses to believe and asks Jesus to take care of him. Bruised, cut, and soon to have his life expire, Jesus still takes the time to care for someone else.

Yes, I'm aware that there may be historical inaccuracies. The cross may have been shaped like a T, not a t. Maybe this person was here instead of that person. I don't really care. Details are just that, little things to make a picture clearer. In this instance, all I care about is the story.

The story is of a man who went through inordinate suffering (I'll spare you the cinematic details. It's rated R for a reason) just to take care of the rest of us. Many who he didn't know at the time. So I got a reminder of that.

Sounds like a perfectly good church service to me.

Quaker Catholic?

Y'know, many a time I think that Catholics must be nuts. Going to church every morning. Enduring hours long services. Marriages that feel like marathons. The baptism, the hierarchy, the rigid structure. Catholicism always struck me as the army of Christianity. Ya do what you're told, ya follow the rules, ya work hard at it, and it all comes off as a first class operation.

I don't know many Quakers that have crossed over to Catholicism (or vice versa).. My "brand" of Quaker tends to be more liberal. We can do without a message. We can be loosey-goosey and go where the spirit leads us. We're encouraged to read our bibles everyday, but we're going to be okay if you feel the need to skip church every now and then.

This is not to say that I am not drawn in by certain elements. I think a strict structure would keep me on my toes. I'd probably have a few more scriptures memorized, which wouldn't be the worst thing. Besides, if you can survive all those sermons, you'd have any troubles with ADD beaten.

Yesterday, in particular, I was struck with the idea of confession. From where I'm sitting, it is a required version of someone to talk things over with. How could that be a bad thing? They're pastors, they have to forgive ya... right? You would always have someone to talk things over with. Shoot, you'd be encouraged to.

I have friends. I have co-congregants. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of someone (other than Mom, of course) that I talk to about God-stuff. Yes, everyone has their own walk with God and it is deeply personal. So personal that sometimes people don't want to talk about it. But ya toss that confession in the mix and you get yourself quite the little release.

Doesn't sound like a terrible idea to me. Even if I do prefer being loosey-goosey.

Group Hug. Well, at least gather...

I rather like my alone time. My cat tends to provide more than enough interaction for my day to day routine. (Especially when she overeats and get to interact with her meal. Sigh.) However, my churches don't really see it that way.

At my newer church, the pastor gave a sermon on the sacraments, specifically communion. To him, communion is the one thing at church that he will not skip. He can leave out the sermon, the songs can be glossed over, everything is up for grabs if it really needs to be. Except communion. To him, communion is the defining way in which we interact with God, and participate in a physical remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Due to the grand importance of the manner, he feels that we should be sharing that experience. He thinks all experiences should be shared. He won't do private baptisms, private weddings; none of that. He is all about the group/community experience.

And because I'm a wild and crazy guy, (thanks Steve Martin) and because it was the first Sunday of the new year, I figured I should just go to my old church and check in with folks. Talked about my parents coming to town, talked about people and their jobs. Heard about people's sons and general church day to day stuff. Nothing horribly earth-shattering, but I was certainly able to slide right back into that group pretty darn easily.

I like doing things on my own. I spent pretty much all of Monday just being by myself and watching movies. After church on Sunday, I essentially did the same thing. Reading, movies, I like things quiet. (One very strong reason why I can't live in downtown.) It isn't that I plan to stay single all my life and become crazy cat-man who sits on his front porch in his rocking chair yelling at kids as they throw things at his house. (To be fair, although I do have a cat and a rocking chair, I have yet to acquire the front porch. So I'm safe for now.) But I'm all for convenient interaction.

I read my bible on my own. I pray in my head or when I'm alone in the car. I enjoy my bible groups and interaction, sure. But do I make the effort to connect with people around me? Share the church experience? Well, let's just say that I don't always go to the fullest row of seats...

Yeah, "doing church" as a group is something I've sort of dropped out of, if I was ever that good at it in the first place. I often sat on the "youth" pew, but with the exception of the cute girl I had a crush on here or there, I was just as happy to sit with mom (she had candy) or by myself (more leg room).

I guess that means I have to talk to more than two people a week, huh? This is gonna take some work...

I'm Critical of Critcism

Not so very long ago, I listened as a man addressed a group of Christians. He was responding to the concept of whether or not the world was worse off for Christianity coming into existence. Wars have been fought in God's name, religious persecution; a fair amount of misery might be blamed at the feet of Christianity, so was it really worth it?

I of course argue no. That while people's attempts may not always go as I would like, their intentions were hopefully to further God's kingdom. In my view, it is the every day little decencies we perform that lead us to a belief in Christianity, not the wars and attacks that we're a little too quick to jump to.

Well, the leader's response was to start off with, "All due respect, but" and then went on to call this specific author he had named an imbelic, uncomprehensible, dumb, moron.

... : Uh huh...

Now, I have my opinions about people. There are actions that my friends and coworkers do that simply boggle my mind. I'm not stupid, I'm not flying off the charts, I'm what I refer to as: smart enough. I'd like to think I'm smart enough not to replicate this mistake.

Look, the specifics don't really matter. It was a respectable enough fellow addressing a group of Christians. Knowing that much alone, I would argue that most would agree that different actions probably should have been taken. Singling out one author and calling them unintelligent because they think differently? That we think things through in opposing manners? That's not being stupid, that's offering up a possiblity for debate.

Bill Maher and I think very differently. But he, in so far as I can see, is no dummy. There are people that have been President in the past few decades that I think were unwise in their policies and how they executed (sometimes, literally) those policies. But having acknowledge our differences, I wouldn't go so far as to call them evil.

In my book, God is love. Insulting someone and claiming they lack intelligence seems unloving; unkind, if you will. I like to think that we, as Christians, can be better than that.

I like discord. I don't like how it frustrates me when others won't agree, but I do appreciate that we can all see things differently. It just solidifies my beliefs in my head and sorts them out that much clearer.

Pew peeps

I attempted this last week, only to have the internet eat my typing. Let's try this again...
There are interesting folks one can sit next to in church. For example, I've encountered a person who sat two seats away from me, and her singing still hurt my ears. I don't know if it was her volume, if she was shrill, of if her singing just didn't jive with me, but the ear closest to her was in pain. Literally.

For some people, it's the way old people smell. As for me, I once had to ask to change seats in Spanish class because the girl next to me had strong perfume that made my eyes water. I tried to downplay it, but she had to go and ask why I was changing seats so the teacher told her. Sigh.
I wouldn't be shocked if there were still churches where black and white folk didn't sit next to each other. And I can guarantee you there are churches that don't want divorced people or gay attendants.

The problem with ths is that God didn't come to save a certain group. God certainly isn't here for the elite. Who are we to decide who's "worthy" of sitting next to us in the pew? Yeah something about them might bother us. Sure there are probably aspects about at least one guy that will seem "off" to you. I know a gentleman who is known for cutting his fingernails in church.

The simple point: Church is for everybody. Off key or not. Smelly-bad or smelly-perfume. Divorced or widowed. And since we're all gloriously messed up, we don't get to say who God deems as worthy or who God is out to speak to.

Embrace everybody, that's the message I've always heard. Just... y'know, don't get offended if I happen to pop in an earplug. ;) (I don't have God's eardrums. Maybe your joyful noise causes me problems!)

Take care (of each other too)

With the homeless, or against them?

If my pastors have one common theme, other than the generic Jesus/church/love/compassion, love to chat about giving. Giving outside one's means. Being a joyful giver. Give what God's given you, give like there's no tomorrow, givegivegive.

Makes sense. I have my share of material things and I find that they don't really make me that much happier. (Though there are those rare comics and movies which make me explode with gooey happiness.)

Anyhoo, apparently the next two services at Quest will be about giving. Challenging us to donate beyond our means. Since the economy is less than fluffy, half of our offerings will go to homeless shelters/food, and the other half will go to help out those in our church community who find themselves in a financially complicated situation.

I tend to think that I'm used to doing my part. I may not give extravagently around Christmas, but when God calls me to pony up here or there, I do okay. Make with the fundage. Let's just say I'm not the worst human being on the planet.

Transfer train of thought to my work. I work in a coffee shop with quite a few homeless folks around. They smell, their money smells, and I've had food spat on the floor, threats made... Look, some of them are quite nice. But some of them quite obviously have mental states that are not the norm. On Wednesday, a fellow of "suspicious" attire and manerisms ordered a tall coffee for his friend, and he wanted a white mocha. I told him it was $5.16, and he pulled out a $5 bill and some change. He left $.15 on the counter, and I asked him if he had one more penny. He then growled, threw an extra dollar in change at me, snatched back his $5, and pulled out a $20. During this transaction, he muttered that I was a, "...", uh... well, it was two words, both considered vulgar, and suggested a gesture which I don't plan on ever engaging in. (Let's just call it "rude" and move on.) He then went to pick up his drink and told my supervisor that someone should talk to me about my attitude. (I have plenty of 'tude. But I assure you, it was not on display for him that day)

Next day? Thursday? He shows up again, clearly recognizes me; as I do him, and orders his white mocha. Looks at me suspiciously, takes his change, and walks away. Through Wednesday and Thursday I had some non-fluffly thoughts. "This is the kind of people they want me to donate to? This is the kind of jerk who can't even treak me like a human being? This mentally defunct twerp who swears at me for no reason at all? I'm supposed to care about his well being when he seems to have $20s to toss around on fancy drinks?"

I didn't wish ill will on him. I don't really desire for anyone to be hit on a bus. But I wasn't in the mood to be his new best friend. I was ready to never see him again. I can get people banned from the store. I can get security to ban people within a 3 block radius. Technically I'm the victim of abusive behavior, and therefore am entitled to respond in a safety-first manner. Basically, I have the right to refuse service to anyone.

But that's not really the Christian way, now is it? Jesus was more than cursed. I figure until I'm physically assaulted, I'm doing pretty swanky. (Oh, relax, parents. I'll be fine. Sheesh.) I may not like the guy, but I'm still supposed to love him. Care about him. Make sure that I hope for the best for him. But do I have to give him money?

Well, big picture? It's not him. It's thousands of people around who are perfectly nice people too. He's in there, sure, but there's a whole mess of folks just trying to get by and feed their family. He's just the squeaky wheel. Still, do I feel like helping him? Like I'm supposed to?

I looked at my bank account. There's a figure that popped in my head. A figure that seemed unrealistic. Especially since I had an envelope from my dentist at home, one more epilogue in my 4 month waiting period with insurance. My dentist never mails me a plastic envelope unless it is a bill. My hopes for meeting that figure will low... Until I opened the envelope this morning. It was a check. (!) For several hundred dollars. (!!!) Maybe they'll adjust the figure later and as for money back, but I doubt it.

In the meantime, it seems that I have this calling to give, a group that is in need, and the means to do it.

Kinda makes a better-left-forgotten grudge seem rather pithy, doesn't it? I mean, God worked it out so nicely, the least I can do is follow suit, huh?

Caring. 'cause God says so.

Howdy,

Not much news on small group front. I've been working/sick. (And perhaps sick of working?) ;)

However, that just means I pay that much more attention in church!

We, like everybody else, have been talking about money. In both churches, actually. My "home" church takes a more truthful/pessimistic view at it. Talk of things getting worse, prophecies of harder times, what have you. "New" church (gotta figure out how to label these two with better names...) takes a friendlier view.

First off, we're blessed. Ridiculously. Go to www.globalrichlist.com. Type in how much money you make a year. Myself, I'm in the top 5% of wage earners. I have a relative who was in the top .001%. (No, you don't need to know who.) The point is, we are quite well off. Shoot, I work a part time job and a non-profit! And I'm apparently sitting on top of the world. Even if my rent is a greater percentage of my income than I'd like... ;)

I was told to have no problem making money, but to give away that money. Okay. Fine by me. I care enough about money to pay my bills. At the same time, I'm trying to have something resembling a savings account. (A task which my car likes to laugh at. Often.) Still, I like to think that I tend to do what I'm told to do. I give when my gut gets me. I figured I was pretty much covered.

Then he had to go and make it personal.

That's right, he brought family into it! People! Sigh. People are my weakness. I'm an introvert. If I know you and you're cute and like to play Scrabble, I may think you're delightful. But more often than not, I'm quite ready to just sit around and shut out the world. Scratch the cat's ears, watch tv, enjoy a good comic book. But calling up my siblings? Seeing how they're doing? Having conversations about their children while they cry in the background. (I should clarify: It's the kids who tend to cry in the background. Well, usually.)

However, Facebook has been a boon in that regard. Easier to check in. That darn website also makes my family harder to ignore. They're right there! Activities and everything! Which just makes it that much more tempting to never call them... even though I know I should. What can I say, it's a work in progress.

My family of friends? There I like to think I'm covered. There are my speed dial people. They know who they are. I call them and leave long messages. I'm e-mail them, get tired of waiting for a response, and e-mail them again. My "chosen" friends.... really, they have no escape from me. I do care about my family. It's just a nuclear/radioactive/what-the? kinda of family.

Still, if there's room for improvement in how I give? Especially time/compassion-wise? It's with people.

But... but... comic books have big pretty pictures! They call to me! ... I know, I know. Like I said, work in progress.

A-Questing goes a Quaker

Howdy!

There were numerous churches offered/suggested to me when I started this little search. (And by "little" I mean, "what in the world do I do now?") Suggestions were mentally cataloged, websites were looked up, and my first church to visit was decided upon.

I like the look of Quest's jib.

Check out that website. It's friendly, without dumbing it down. They're God-centered, but not on a high-horse. They emphasize having all sorts of people in their congregation. And, wouldn't you know it, they could use help with their sound/powerpoint. (It's true. Sometimes we'd get through a verse before the next slide was advanced. When it worked, the singing was great. Guitars, piano, a little drum, nice voices. When the slides were off? Confusing, irksome, stress-inducing for someone who's been doing it for 14 years)

The church itself is in Interbay. Right near the golf course between Ballard Bridge and Denny Way. City-located, but not city feeling. I (due to my inability to turn at the right time) was a few minutes late, but so was the service. Not sure if tbey employ greeters or not, but I found a program, found my seat, and they started soon after.

The room just felt nice. Yeah, I'm not a fan of candles, but they only had 2 or 3, so que sera, sera. There was a youthful feel to the room, but not overly trendy. (Y'know, light brown and auburn colors spread around. Offset well by stained glass here and there.)

The speaker? (Leah, that day) She was delightful. Made little side jokes here and there, but mainly impressed me with having a keen intellect. She refused to give a "quick fix" or "checklist" to make us appreciate justice better. (The sermon was on Herod of Agrippa being killed and eaten by worms for not defusing claims that he spoke as a god.) She merely stated that she was human, that sometimes she wanted bad things to happen to bad people. That we should look around and take care of others kindly and justly. If you wrong some one, make amends face to face. Be kind to homeless people and help out with hunger. (Which led into a plug for a garage sale to feed the homeless. But they're actually helping people! Plug away in that sense.)

And I'm not going to lie to you. There were youth there. It was about half youth, half elderly. Some were couples, some were alone (in both groups). And no, I didn't partake in communion. I still believe that as a Quaker I can commune with God all day long, listening to what God has to say, without the symbolism of bread and wine/grapejuice. For me? I'll pass on the symbolism in this instance. I just don't need it.

Oh, and if you look on their website? They have an outdoor ministry! They think you can experience God just by being outside and being surrounded by God's creation. !!!! I just happen to believe that very thing. ;)

Yes, Quest is recommended. Much. I shall return. The 9:15 service was sparse, but there were plenty of people my age, and a crowd was gathering at 10:20 for the 11:00 service. I was impressed all around.

Then I went straight to my church. It was a 10 minute drive away, I had 20 minutes, and I figured I'd help start my journey where the last one had ended.

It was fine. Nothing really struck a chord with me. I ran microphones (was able to fix a high-pitched squeal), ran powerpoint (well, someone had the remote. But I turned it off!), and not much happened. More of the same. And I was tired from my morning/jog/cooking/one service already. I'm not sure I recommend trying to be alert for 3-4 hours of church in a row.

But where to next week?

Toodles

-PC, visitor (a label which takes much getting used to)

What the sam hill? (An intro)

Howdy!

Not too long ago, I found myself sitting in church, wishing there were more people my age. Or even, some. In the span of 20-35, it's pretty much just me as a regular attender. (I'm currently 28. We call that a "barren wasteland" in societal terms.) I e-mailed my pastor, told her I was going on hiatus, and received numerous words of encouragement from my church and family. (Which if you really want, are all available to read in this blog.)

Now that gives you the general idea of what this is all about. But to be more specific?

• It's about a 20's something guy who has no trouble making friends, but is in Seattle, the 2nd-least Christian/religion seeking city (Hey, I could always be in Portland)
• It's about a guy who's been single for quite a while, and has tried numerous methods (eHarmony is just silly, and Equally Yoked? Snicker-enducing.) of meeting Christian poeple.
• It's about different churches, different styles, different buildings, but hopefully the same goal. (I.e, People+church=God time. Care for one another. Jesus is the way to salvation.)
• And of course, it's about the things that go on in those churches that are amusing, silly, fun, inspirational, or just provoke a good yarn.

What can I say, where Church and my curiousity combine; I get Churchiosity. (Soon to be patent pending! Not that anyone else will use that phrase. Ever.)

Toss in some comments, send thoughts my way, recommend some churches, and lemme know what ya think.

Toodles

-PC, really likes typing. Especially on quests where he has absolutely no idea what he's doing