Buckle Up, Kids

This evening, I will be off to Yelm. With 3 strangers in my car.

...to my way of thinking, that last phrase just sounds like some low-budget horror flick. (Okay, it might be a comedy, but either way, somebody's gettin' left at the side of the road in some dark wilderness area. Complete with low-laying fog and wolves. And coyotes.)

Yet, it is untrue. At least I hope so. In theory it will all be a jovial church-sponsored romp down to a retreat.

What can I say? The five minutes of greeting time at church doesn't really enable close, lifelong bonds to be established. Plus people always have somewhere to go after church. But a retreat? Yeah, you're stuck there. You paid to be stuck there. Get comfy.

There you have it. The story of an introvert trying to chat it up with some fellow Quest-ers. If it were indoors, I'd bail. This is happily not the case. I like being outdoors. I wear flannel for a reason.

Plus I get to ride a horse. Which I haven't done this millenia. That'll be nice. As for the rest of it? God only knows, right?

Sleepiness

I'm starting to wonder what my small group thinks of me. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, a lifelong Christian, and I don't smell like a musk ox that found its way into a garbage heap. Now if only I could stay awake.

Here lies the problem. I tend to have a double shift on Fridays, which usually means I'm at work for around eighteen hours. If I have a double on Saturdays as wel, then I'm in a world of sleeping hurt. Sunday is my day to catch up on sleep. After church, I come home, crash, and end up becoming one with the couch. The problem is, when I sleep at two in the afternoon, it makes it much harder for me to be asleep at two in the morning.

Such was the case with me this Monday. I had woken up at two a.m. Nothing more I could do about it, no more sleep was to be had, I was just going to be awake. I arrived at work around five a.m. Worked/ was there until about six p.m. Took a friend for hot chocolate, basically just tried to kill time until my small group at seven thirty p.m. If you have started doing the math, you can get why this is intrinsically difficult for me.

My brain tends to decrease in function around eight or eight thrity at night. I find it essentially useless to try and read. Then try and combine that with the notion of being upright for the last nineteen hours. By the time small group is over, I have usually been awake somewhere around twenty hours. (Using the term "awake" as a sliding scale")

That's all just build-up to this question: Is it worth it?

Usually, yes. Somehow I can sneak in a half hour nap and that carries me through until ten p.m. Or I get a Friday night off. Something. In those moments I find that the conversation is intelligent and God-inspired and I can hopefully add to it. Or it can be like it was last week.

My newest "trick" is to start standing about halfway through the second half of our meeting and just lightly walk back and forth. Hopefully it isn't too distracting; it is the only way I can maintain consciousness. This week I outdid my self. I had the bible on the chair in front of me, I was leaning over to read the bible, and I think for a half a second I nodded off because I felt my vertical stance slipping and I jerked my head awake. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep whiile standing up?

I would much like an earlier start time, but the morning people of this world, including myself, have to have some disadvantages. I just hope that I'm not disrupting anyone else there and that they understand that I'm trying.

Moral of the story: Naps pay off. Embrace them.

Here's hoping I get points for trying..

Group Hug. Well, at least gather...

I rather like my alone time. My cat tends to provide more than enough interaction for my day to day routine. (Especially when she overeats and get to interact with her meal. Sigh.) However, my churches don't really see it that way.

At my newer church, the pastor gave a sermon on the sacraments, specifically communion. To him, communion is the one thing at church that he will not skip. He can leave out the sermon, the songs can be glossed over, everything is up for grabs if it really needs to be. Except communion. To him, communion is the defining way in which we interact with God, and participate in a physical remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Due to the grand importance of the manner, he feels that we should be sharing that experience. He thinks all experiences should be shared. He won't do private baptisms, private weddings; none of that. He is all about the group/community experience.

And because I'm a wild and crazy guy, (thanks Steve Martin) and because it was the first Sunday of the new year, I figured I should just go to my old church and check in with folks. Talked about my parents coming to town, talked about people and their jobs. Heard about people's sons and general church day to day stuff. Nothing horribly earth-shattering, but I was certainly able to slide right back into that group pretty darn easily.

I like doing things on my own. I spent pretty much all of Monday just being by myself and watching movies. After church on Sunday, I essentially did the same thing. Reading, movies, I like things quiet. (One very strong reason why I can't live in downtown.) It isn't that I plan to stay single all my life and become crazy cat-man who sits on his front porch in his rocking chair yelling at kids as they throw things at his house. (To be fair, although I do have a cat and a rocking chair, I have yet to acquire the front porch. So I'm safe for now.) But I'm all for convenient interaction.

I read my bible on my own. I pray in my head or when I'm alone in the car. I enjoy my bible groups and interaction, sure. But do I make the effort to connect with people around me? Share the church experience? Well, let's just say that I don't always go to the fullest row of seats...

Yeah, "doing church" as a group is something I've sort of dropped out of, if I was ever that good at it in the first place. I often sat on the "youth" pew, but with the exception of the cute girl I had a crush on here or there, I was just as happy to sit with mom (she had candy) or by myself (more leg room).

I guess that means I have to talk to more than two people a week, huh? This is gonna take some work...

Groups: An Assemblage of Personalities

My group that I attempted to go to a few weeks ago? The one where I was the only visitor? Well, they met again on Monday. But I slept in. Oops. What can I say? My Sundays have mutated. I go to church, possibly my other church, then go home. Watch some tv, fall asleep, watch a bit more tv, then fall asleep for real. Which leaves me waking up around midnight or 1 am. And when your groups meets Monday nights @ 7.... well, it makes for a long day. I'm only human. Here's hoping for next week?

I did make it to a second group in the middle of the week. Let's just take it down to simple-ville, shall we?
-Pros:
Very friendly, welcoming leader
A guy recognized me from church
Gathered to worship God
Didn't get lost on the way (Yay!)
Talked about how bread=life in the Hebrew concept, how meals are intimate. A concept I'd never known before

-Cons
Bunch of people I've never met... can only remember ~ 3 names now
Goes until 9:30. My brain shuts off around 8:30
Yet another trip south in the middle of the week. Over an hour driving for 2.5 hours of talking
Tended to drift off of the God-topic for tv/humor discussions

and oddly enough? The one I had the biggest problem with? They were discussing how last year they would get food from a bakery. Well, more specifically, a bakery's dumpster. The food is tossed out still in the packaging. A: They're old enough to know better. B: Yeah, I'm a bachelor, and I'll eat food I find around... but really? Serving to a group? C: It's illegal to dumpster dive in Washington state. Ever-so illegal. So I don't think a Christian Group should be happily breaking the law.

Nice people, different way of thinking, and a whole new world for me. (I obstained from communion. Which is a bit harder in a small group/circled/in someone's living room.)

I know I work next Wednesday, but after that? I dunno. Good company, but not quite sure if the group is a fit for me. Or my tired, sick of driving, ways.

Gather ye people! Or.... not so much

Howdy,

Yes, Monday was my first C-Group. An opportunity for folks from around the area to get together and discuss things one on one. Emphasis on the one on one....

I thought I had given myself plenty of time. Left PSC ~ 7:15, and had to drive up to Queen Anne. Then up the hill, take a right... oops, missed the right. Go up to the next block, take a right, finagle a u-turn... make an illegal left (ssh!), go around the neighborhood... and repeat for aobut 20 minutes. Look, I admit that I get lost, but those neighborhood street signs? The white letters that are supposed to relfect on the green background? Yeah, they don't. I can't read those dang things for jack squat. Sigh. I showed up to the 7:30 C-Group around 7:45. ...and I was still the first one there.

Turns out I was the only one there.

Yep, nothing says togetherness like poorly attended functions! ;) Now, the family who was acting as hosts are quite friendly. Amiable. Offered me pie and tea, asked about who I was, we talked about the economy... it was quite a pleasant little 30 minute chat. However, it felt very much like I was a lone fellow invited over for dinner. Not so much a group.

Apparently it takes a few weeks for people to figure out the whole group thing. Assemble. Line up their schedules. The organizers said they'd let me know when more people were ready to come.

On the one hand, I became acquainted with a very nice family. On the other? Well, let's just say i was aiming for "the more the merrier". Hey, at least I didn't have to worry about elbow room or finding a comfy seat!