Changin' It Up (From the comfort of my own couch)

Yesterday was the exception that prooves the rule.

Normally I'm only to happy to go to church every Sunday. Get out, surround myself with Christian folk, and sit up straight in a chair. (I still maintain that it is physically impossible to sit up straight in a wooden pew for any length of time greater than half an hour.)

Emphasis on "Normally". I don't know what it was yesterday. Maybe because I woke up late from my morning nap and would have had to rush. Maybe my commute to Ballard/Belltown is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just a lazy son of a gun. For whatever reason, I ditched the outside world. I don't think I even unlocked the door all day. Stayed home with the cat and the couch.

My standard Sunday consists of a barrage of tv-dom, and yesterday was no exception. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. The Incredibles. Stargate: SG-1. Still, I figured I needed something resembling a sermon/message, so it would have to be either VeggieTales or The Passion of the Christ. My stomach is stronger than my mom's, so I went for the second option.

I'm still impressed by the movie. Take away the buckets of fake blood and it really is a beautifully shot flick. The moody building where we see Judas make his deal. The shots of the moon as the clouds roll by. The hilltop where it all happens. My favorite part is where Jesus is building a table and has a nice conversation with his mom. Good stuff. Helps me see Jesus in a more human light.

For example: Jesus is walking (perhaps limping would be a better description) with his cross on his back, trying to get up the hill. His mom sees all this and tries to run to his side. The look in his eyes (Jim Caviezel was quite excellent, as always) just showed how much he cared for this woman. It brings up a quote/idea which I fully subscribe to;

Don't ever underestimate what a person will do for someone they love.

I find that to be mind-numbingly true. People will stay in battered relationships. They'll endure hours of childbirth or midnight shifts to cover the bills. People will absolutely throw logic and caution to the wind if it means helping someone they care about more than themselves.

So when I see that look pass between Jesus and Mary, I don't see a fake-blood soaked actor in a foreign country with carefully planned cameras and lighting. I see someone who loves this person, and countless others, and is willing to undergo whatever suffering and agony he has to in order to save their lives.

If someone said I could save the lives of everyone I knew by being shot, I'd like to think I'd still do it. (Doesn't mean I'd like it...)

Kudos also go to the person that helped Jesus carry the cross. And of course, to one of my favorite people in the bible, the criminal. He sees Jesus up on the cross, bleeding and dying. If there was ever a time when you could doubt this person, it would be then. But that's the time that he chooses to believe and asks Jesus to take care of him. Bruised, cut, and soon to have his life expire, Jesus still takes the time to care for someone else.

Yes, I'm aware that there may be historical inaccuracies. The cross may have been shaped like a T, not a t. Maybe this person was here instead of that person. I don't really care. Details are just that, little things to make a picture clearer. In this instance, all I care about is the story.

The story is of a man who went through inordinate suffering (I'll spare you the cinematic details. It's rated R for a reason) just to take care of the rest of us. Many who he didn't know at the time. So I got a reminder of that.

Sounds like a perfectly good church service to me.

Like the Michael Jackson song says...

Yes, I am ashamed to be using Michael to introduce this writing. But I couldn't think about a more interesting way to chat about, as the song goes, "If you're black or white".

One of the things I appreciate about both my churches, though probably moreso the newer one, is the willingness to have anybody and everybody come in. I think it goes pretty evenly for both churches, but since Quest is bigger, you get a broader spectrum. In my home church, I have a black man married to a caucasian and they have a little dark skinned youngin. I think he's quite cute. And I'm thrilled that nobody minds in the least. (Why some would find it offensive, I'd rather not get into. But I know there are people out there that do.)

In church on Sunday, I took up my usual chair in my new church. I sat where I always sit; the middle of the middle. Around the second or third song, up came a couple who plopped down next to me. He was Korean, she was caucasian, and none of us really seemed to care. They were both perfectly friendly and delightful, and they seem happy together. What more do I need to know?

Over in a nearby section was someone who had a distictive lesbian vibe to her, and my understanding is that there are about twelve homosexuals that attend. Okay. God loves everybody, right? Do I need to follow a stricter guideline than God's? I don't think so.

Be different. Form interesting couples. Add some flavor. I'm quite the character myself and I slap the "Christian" label on my forehead. Works just fine for me, so who am I to tell others to do otherwise?

A little change o' pace

Sometimes my favorite church services have been a completely unplanned mess. Sometimes ya just gotta chuck the sermon to the wind and let God work in God's own strange ways.

In my home church, if the pastor feels like they aren't supposed to give a message, they won't. Both the current pastor of the church and the one before that. If God tells them to sit down and shut up (which I'm sure God does in a kindlier, less offensive manner), then they do. Maybe we'll end up singing songs out of the hymnal. Maybe we'll all just listen to what's been going on in other people's lives a bit more than usual; hear how God is working in their daily walks. Suits me just fine. Sermon, no sermon, it works.

This Sunday was a bit like that, and it was a nice change of pace. Sang some songs, had some announcements, and then a fellow (Trace Bruno? I think?) who was in town and is having a concert next month came up and played a song on his guitar. Watching a guitar player is always more fun that simply listening to one. He was moving his little wooden clamps, slapping the paneling and the strings, he clearly has his own style and has spent quite a few years on it.

Then they called up some gals from The Sold Project (www.thesoldproject.org). They tried to show a video... let's just say this newer church of mine has some difficulty getting their AV act in synch. They callled up the two gals, and we got a quick little lesson on the international slave trade, and how The Sold Project was created to confront the problem through helping people in Thailand and educating folks about what was going on. The DVD played, and we heard a little bit more about it.

Following that was a brief sermon about the disciples who cured the slave girl of her prophecy gift, and upset the masters because they had been deprived of their income. It referenced the scripture a little, but mostly it built upon the importance of being aware of slavery.

Then we sang some more, Trace played some more, and there was that grand ol' communion. I don't think we focused on any one aspect of church for more than ten minutes in a row. It would probably be a bit too fragmented for my tastes to do it on a regular basis. For this one time though, it was a nice break from the norm. Got an education on all sorts of things. All focused around God. Not too shabby.

Quaker Catholic?

Y'know, many a time I think that Catholics must be nuts. Going to church every morning. Enduring hours long services. Marriages that feel like marathons. The baptism, the hierarchy, the rigid structure. Catholicism always struck me as the army of Christianity. Ya do what you're told, ya follow the rules, ya work hard at it, and it all comes off as a first class operation.

I don't know many Quakers that have crossed over to Catholicism (or vice versa).. My "brand" of Quaker tends to be more liberal. We can do without a message. We can be loosey-goosey and go where the spirit leads us. We're encouraged to read our bibles everyday, but we're going to be okay if you feel the need to skip church every now and then.

This is not to say that I am not drawn in by certain elements. I think a strict structure would keep me on my toes. I'd probably have a few more scriptures memorized, which wouldn't be the worst thing. Besides, if you can survive all those sermons, you'd have any troubles with ADD beaten.

Yesterday, in particular, I was struck with the idea of confession. From where I'm sitting, it is a required version of someone to talk things over with. How could that be a bad thing? They're pastors, they have to forgive ya... right? You would always have someone to talk things over with. Shoot, you'd be encouraged to.

I have friends. I have co-congregants. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of someone (other than Mom, of course) that I talk to about God-stuff. Yes, everyone has their own walk with God and it is deeply personal. So personal that sometimes people don't want to talk about it. But ya toss that confession in the mix and you get yourself quite the little release.

Doesn't sound like a terrible idea to me. Even if I do prefer being loosey-goosey.

Getting Centered

Howdy,

Sunday was a distraction kind of day. There's someone who has been on my mind, and I'm planning to dress up as Batman this weekend and walk downtown for a few hours. ...it's for work. Honest. I sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to take my mind off of little world things in my life that don't really matter and focus on God.

Went into church, took a seat, closed my eyes, it was starting to work. Well, it didn't help that I work under the Space Needle and they picture they showed was of the Space Needle, but still. Every little ounce of progress counts, right?

Songs were going well. I had a nice voice singing behind me during the first set of songs. I even turned around and complimented her during the awkward-chatting-social time, but she seemed to think it wasn't her; that there was some better voice behind her. (I checked over my shoulder later. It was her. Humble, good for her.)

Of course, during the message, the scripture was being projected onto the screen in front of us, when all of a sudden there was a loud -pop-. In my 6 days a week life, I play with LCD projectors all the time. I thought to myself "They either flipped a breaker, or they popped the bulb." The projector didn't come back to life (which makes it really hard to sing along with songs). And I noticed the red and green lights on the projector were blinking away. That means two things: A, it has power. So no break issue. B, when lights blink that much? It is either a warning or an indicator. No good.

So I spent the rest of service thinking about the bulb and wondering if these folks had any idea what was going on and if I should go up to the pastor and tell him and if the bulb could be replaced by the next service which was only twenty minutes away.... sigh.

At least I got the gist of the message before I was horribly distracted. Thirty-forty minutes being focused just on God... that's something, right?

And as a bonus, I got to stand on two wobbly ladders after the service. Can't say I didn't have fun...

Sleepiness

I'm starting to wonder what my small group thinks of me. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, a lifelong Christian, and I don't smell like a musk ox that found its way into a garbage heap. Now if only I could stay awake.

Here lies the problem. I tend to have a double shift on Fridays, which usually means I'm at work for around eighteen hours. If I have a double on Saturdays as wel, then I'm in a world of sleeping hurt. Sunday is my day to catch up on sleep. After church, I come home, crash, and end up becoming one with the couch. The problem is, when I sleep at two in the afternoon, it makes it much harder for me to be asleep at two in the morning.

Such was the case with me this Monday. I had woken up at two a.m. Nothing more I could do about it, no more sleep was to be had, I was just going to be awake. I arrived at work around five a.m. Worked/ was there until about six p.m. Took a friend for hot chocolate, basically just tried to kill time until my small group at seven thirty p.m. If you have started doing the math, you can get why this is intrinsically difficult for me.

My brain tends to decrease in function around eight or eight thrity at night. I find it essentially useless to try and read. Then try and combine that with the notion of being upright for the last nineteen hours. By the time small group is over, I have usually been awake somewhere around twenty hours. (Using the term "awake" as a sliding scale")

That's all just build-up to this question: Is it worth it?

Usually, yes. Somehow I can sneak in a half hour nap and that carries me through until ten p.m. Or I get a Friday night off. Something. In those moments I find that the conversation is intelligent and God-inspired and I can hopefully add to it. Or it can be like it was last week.

My newest "trick" is to start standing about halfway through the second half of our meeting and just lightly walk back and forth. Hopefully it isn't too distracting; it is the only way I can maintain consciousness. This week I outdid my self. I had the bible on the chair in front of me, I was leaning over to read the bible, and I think for a half a second I nodded off because I felt my vertical stance slipping and I jerked my head awake. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep whiile standing up?

I would much like an earlier start time, but the morning people of this world, including myself, have to have some disadvantages. I just hope that I'm not disrupting anyone else there and that they understand that I'm trying.

Moral of the story: Naps pay off. Embrace them.

Here's hoping I get points for trying..

Group Hug. Well, at least gather...

I rather like my alone time. My cat tends to provide more than enough interaction for my day to day routine. (Especially when she overeats and get to interact with her meal. Sigh.) However, my churches don't really see it that way.

At my newer church, the pastor gave a sermon on the sacraments, specifically communion. To him, communion is the one thing at church that he will not skip. He can leave out the sermon, the songs can be glossed over, everything is up for grabs if it really needs to be. Except communion. To him, communion is the defining way in which we interact with God, and participate in a physical remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Due to the grand importance of the manner, he feels that we should be sharing that experience. He thinks all experiences should be shared. He won't do private baptisms, private weddings; none of that. He is all about the group/community experience.

And because I'm a wild and crazy guy, (thanks Steve Martin) and because it was the first Sunday of the new year, I figured I should just go to my old church and check in with folks. Talked about my parents coming to town, talked about people and their jobs. Heard about people's sons and general church day to day stuff. Nothing horribly earth-shattering, but I was certainly able to slide right back into that group pretty darn easily.

I like doing things on my own. I spent pretty much all of Monday just being by myself and watching movies. After church on Sunday, I essentially did the same thing. Reading, movies, I like things quiet. (One very strong reason why I can't live in downtown.) It isn't that I plan to stay single all my life and become crazy cat-man who sits on his front porch in his rocking chair yelling at kids as they throw things at his house. (To be fair, although I do have a cat and a rocking chair, I have yet to acquire the front porch. So I'm safe for now.) But I'm all for convenient interaction.

I read my bible on my own. I pray in my head or when I'm alone in the car. I enjoy my bible groups and interaction, sure. But do I make the effort to connect with people around me? Share the church experience? Well, let's just say that I don't always go to the fullest row of seats...

Yeah, "doing church" as a group is something I've sort of dropped out of, if I was ever that good at it in the first place. I often sat on the "youth" pew, but with the exception of the cute girl I had a crush on here or there, I was just as happy to sit with mom (she had candy) or by myself (more leg room).

I guess that means I have to talk to more than two people a week, huh? This is gonna take some work...