An Introvert. When not in church.

Howdy,

I like being by myself. I like sitting around thinking. I refuse to move to the city, instead opting to live 12 miles from my work because I don't like the hectic surroundings. I haven't had anyone over to my apartment in about a year, I don't frequent bars, and nine times out of ten I go to movies by myself. I have a fairly regular jogging buddy, but I was say about one fourth of all the laps I log are done alone. I get two to three phone calls a week and I would love a three day weekend where I didn't have to talk to anyone.

I think it is pretty safe to say that I have my introvert side. Probably a large part of why I'm eeking up on thirty and am still quite single. Still, there's one notable exception to this.

Church.

When I'm in the sound booth at my home church, I don't think it really counts. It is hard to focus on God's presence while wondering who is going to want the wireless microphone next. (Not impossible though. God's presence can be rather loud/rude/pushy.) However, upon visiting church as an attendant? Not just a sound volunteer? It's a different experience.

I enter church alone and expect to leave church alone. But in the between, I like a little pew company. (Happens to me on the bus too, but I like it the reverse. Somehow I seem to scare off people so that I'm one of the last people with an extra seat beside me. Comes in handy when my legs are crampted, but I wonder what it is.) The seats are arranged in rows of six or seven, and I plop myself down right in the middle. The LCD projector tells me too! "Slide in to make room by the aisle!" Honest!

I guess the "outsider" part of me wants to know that I'm not -that- scary and that people are okay sitting by me. The "stand and greet your neighbor part" is half awkward/half delightful to me. I don't do small talk well. I'm quite content to jump into your mom's heart attack while you're losing your job. Let me at it. But we only have a minute or two until the pastor wants to talk. So there's that...

Then there's the holding hands after church. Honestly? Unless you're in a leper colony? I think every church session should end with holding hands. Temples too. Social gatherings, the whole thing. (Come to think of it, if we're in a leper colony, they're already sick too. Go ahead, hold hands!)

I have yet to encounter slimy, sweaty hands. And you give a little squeeze at the "amen". It's good times.

Yes, I've found myself looking forward to it. So much that I was getting a little distracted when singing and just closed my eyes and let it be. I laughed to myself that I was hear for God, not for some seatwarmers who happened to be around. Yeah... focus on God. That's the ticket. When I foucs on God then I'm doing what I'm here to do. If God wants it to happen it'll... and then somebody started singing right beside me.

;)

God knows what I need. Can't always get what ya want, as they say. Still, ya trust God, and whether you get what you want or not, it all seems to work quite nicely.

Focus on God. While at church. It is the simple concepts that throw me off. Maybe if I got that tatoo I was pondering... nah.

Toodles