Cosand's Churchiosity

And on and on and on

2009-09-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

The more things change, the more the past comes up behind you and pats ya on the back.

I went to Anacortes last weekend (and by "weekend", those that know me realize I mean "Sunday only) to take part in our little version of a Quaker mecca. We gather 'round, catch up, and remember stories of what used to be. Then we brush off what little "skills" we have and perform for each other.

Mine was not as good as I wanted it to be. There was a little Alfred Hitchcock homage which I thought was rather inspired... but as for the rest? Eh, could have been better. Our version of the Sound of Music family was of course delightful in their orchestrations. 3 different ones. A force to be reckoned with, that family.

But by going back and visiting old friends, I found someone who wants to go to my "new"er church. So from my old church I have a friend who soon becomes my new friend at my new church. Quakers don't really die off, they just come back for another round. (So long as they stay the same high-quality people, I like it just fine.)

Old timers and old friends

2009-08-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Church compatriots never really disappear, we just saunter off stage to return in a later act.

Take our mutual friend's 100th birthday for example. I don't care how well you know someone, if you get invited to a 100th birthday party, you're going to show up. I mean, how many people does a person meet that attains that sort of mileage? Folks should seize that opportunity because it isn't likely to come along too often.

Attendance was not hurt by the fact that this man is quite the delightful fellow. He gave up life without a hearing aid and driving just this year. He's been plopped in his pew pretty much every Sunday he could. A fun man to visit with, and a good man in a pinch.

Naturally, folks came from all over to celebrate. His doctor was there. Friends that have not attended our church in many years. All to say hello to this fellow. I approve, clearly.

Then of course, there is our annual retreat out by Anacortes. While not officially "The place to be", it very much has a reunion feel about it. If there's one event where we see everyone, that retreat is it. Moreso than Easter, outdoing Christmas; folks gather and flock to stay in breezy cabins and rememeber days gone by around campfires.

You can leave. You can go to another church. But I think folks are just fine in caring for those they've known before.

Gettin' comfy a year later

2009-08-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

I have now been attending 2 churches for about a year.

Either I'm becoming quite comfy in my newer church, or my AV background allows me to be obnoxious in the middle of a church service.

One of the female pastors was sharing a bit about a recent missionary trip before she started preaching, and at the beginning she had a little issue with the volume and assumed it would be resolved. It wasn't.

I was about four rows back and I could hear her just fine. Still, I've learned that what I consider perfectly audible, others consider too dang quiet. Five minutes progressed, she showed slides, and her mission trip was discussed rather nicely. As she pulled open her bible to start preaching, I leaned forward slighty, and with my "announcement voice" told her

"You might want to grab a handheld mic because we can't hear you."

She fumbled a bit with her battery pack, one of the techs started talking to her, and eventually she got her switch moved from "standby" to "on".

I'd like to think I didn't embarass her, but I saw no reason to draw attention to it afterwards. I rationalized that if anyone was going to want to hear something, they would want to hear the sermon. And if someone was going to talk back in church, why not me? (Charismatic, we ain't.)

So derive from this two lessons: I have absolutely no problem looking like a jerk in church. I'll mention technical/format issues during your sermon time any day of the week. (Most likely Sunday, I'd assume.) Also, just use handheld mics. With cords. Lapel mics are pure evil.

When it all comes together

2009-07-27T12:54:00.001-07:00

Howdy,

Besides the fact that both contain, y'know, Christians, my churches actually have a little link to each other.

There are 7 continents in the world, and about 7 billion people.
There are 1 billion people in Africa, spread out over 61 territories.
There's an area known as Tanzania.
Inside of Tanzania there is a region known as Chamwino.
In that area, there are about 41,000 people. (Man, I do loves me some Wikipedia.)

Guess where both of my churches have sent missionaries to?

A few gals from Quest headed there a week or two ago, and I have a gal in NSFC who has been there two or three times. I'm sure there are some 6 degrees in there somewhere... but what if people who have traveled across the country to help others have met. Even though they only live a few miles from each other. ;)

Coincidence is a load of bull. I'm a big fan of providence. Or, if you need someone more esteemed:

"If coincidences exist, why do they always feel so contrived?" -Fox Mulder

Your brethren- an easy mark

2009-07-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

I have to admit that when I need a favor, my church is one of the first places I consider going to. So far I've

asked for money/donations for my cancer activities
asked for some help interviewing couples for a movie I'm making
gotten at least 2 quilts (and countless free meals)
received some emergency shelter and last minute rides home
gotten help moving
gotten an interview... and then a job from my youth pastor
asked for volunteers/donors for a blood drive

Yes, there's something to be said for a church community which will bail you out (not literally, who do you think I am?) of the hard times.

Maybe it's because I've known these folks for a quarter of a decade. Maybe there's some sort of residual guilt that they know I'll tell my parents if they don't help me.

...or maybe they're just good, decent people who know I wouldn't ask unless it was important to me. Ya never know. ;)

Facebook: Better than Life

2009-07-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

I hate to admit it, but Facebook makes connecting with fellow Christians easier. Sigh.

After the church retreat I went to a few weeks ago, it was a piece of cake to find people online and add them as friends. Thanks to FB, I know who is having a tough week, who's scrambling to find a place to live, and who will get a nice little weekend vacation.

Also, I find myself working on what I hope will be a fun little video project. I'll be interviewing couples and finding out how they got to be where they are. And how did I broach the awkwardness of "Hey, you mind if I grill you about your personal lives and question you about your relationship?" Via e-mail. (Easier to reject me that way, that's what I reckon.)

Then there's the gal who had a mini-chat with me over Yahoo Messenger about my belief in God and if I'd ever had God speak directly to me...

Yeah, I now know more about people I sit next to in church by hopping online. And after that starting point... I can now have actual converstations with them. Madness.

I guess that means technology is our friend. Or will help us make friends. Perhaps both...

Apparently it's a Guy Thing

2009-06-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't say that I'm completely against male friendships of all sorts, but I don't tend to seek them out.

I've always been a fan of the ladies. On any given day I'd prefer to hang out with them. I'm not a real threat, and they don't seem to burp quite as much as fellows do.

See, with any collection of males even somewhat approximating my age, the conversation seems to drop to a level that just isn't my style. Unless we're talking comics or movies, I just don't have anything to say to them. I have pretty close to no interest in sports. I don't care about beer. And no, I don't want to discuss which females I'd like to see naked.

So imagine my surprise when the guys I go to church with seem to be rather decent fellows. Last week at a church retreat I ended up chatting with quite a few guys, and not once did the issue of "hotness" come up. I even managed to talk with some guys who had the same background as me. Y'know, no great crisis of faith, just a happy and normal childhood.

In church yesterday I happened to be in a group where everyone was a runner, one man was thinking about his daughter going off to college, and one guy was getting ready to go on a missionary trip to Guatemala to provide medical assistance. Nice men, kind guys, males not obsessed with things that I consider base or menial. A pleasant surprise to be sure.

I've always had men in my church who were good people. But people my own age? Craziness. Who are actually people I'd be okay with my sister going out with? (Y'know, if she weren't already married) Well, that just takes me aback.

File it under happy surprises.

Buckle Up, Kids

2009-06-19T14:03:00.000-07:00

This evening, I will be off to Yelm. With 3 strangers in my car.

...to my way of thinking, that last phrase just sounds like some low-budget horror flick. (Okay, it might be a comedy, but either way, somebody's gettin' left at the side of the road in some dark wilderness area. Complete with low-laying fog and wolves. And coyotes.)

Yet, it is untrue. At least I hope so. In theory it will all be a jovial church-sponsored romp down to a retreat.

What can I say? The five minutes of greeting time at church doesn't really enable close, lifelong bonds to be established. Plus people always have somewhere to go after church. But a retreat? Yeah, you're stuck there. You paid to be stuck there. Get comfy.

There you have it. The story of an introvert trying to chat it up with some fellow Quest-ers. If it were indoors, I'd bail. This is happily not the case. I like being outdoors. I wear flannel for a reason.

Plus I get to ride a horse. Which I haven't done this millenia. That'll be nice. As for the rest of it? God only knows, right?

Outnumbered isn't entirely bad...

2009-06-12T13:43:00.001-07:00

I admit it, I ain't perfect.

A notion which I am sure you were all aware of, but should you need an incident of proof to warrant such a bold statement? I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in church on Sunday. (I maintain that it is not entirely reasonable to work a double, sleep a little, go running, and then be groggy in church.) Regardless, it happened and I was either alseep or just plain zoned out for the message. Whoops.

However, I was encouraged to hear that we were being prayed for. The week before the church had gone all Quakerly and didn't actually have a message. Gasp! We sat and prayed and sung hymns and just let it be all loosey-goosey. Gasp gasp! As a part of that, they stuck some post-its inside each bulletin and encouraged us to write down any prayer requests and stick 'em to the walls on the sides of the sanctuary.

I'm not a huge fan of standing in front of church and having the congregation pray for me. (I like any attention paid to me to be under my control. Y'know, dressing up like Batman, speaking Spanish, just plain being goofy.) Writing down a few little lines on a postit and slapping it up on a wall? I can do that. I went the "subtle" route and blended with the communion line.

Well, the next week (Sunday), Eugene told us we were being prayed for and that the pastors would walk through the room during the weekedays and he read some prayers in the service and ya get the idea. Made me feel a little better. I reckon its mostly because I'm slowly learning more and more to let go of things and let God take control.

Including my sleep schedule apparently...

Social Upgrading

2009-06-01T07:02:00.000-07:00

Both my churches are big fans of global justice. We want the world to become a better place, and we'd like to think that we can help in some small matter.

Not surprisingly, the "cooler" of the two churches focuses most of their efforts on Asia. The congregation is largely Korean, so I don't see any reason why they wouldn't focus on Korean and island nations.

"Quakerville" is a little more old-fashioned. We stick to good ol' Africa. (You can always find plenty of poor and hungry folks in Africa. Always.)

Still, with all our care and concern for missions, it surprises me how often we're taken aback. I wasn't aware that human trafficking was more popular now than ever. Still, given the amount of dirt-cheap products being cranked out, I can't say that I was horribly shocked.

Yesterday the congregation of my home church was told that 4 million people had died in the Congo wars and that 100,000 women had been raped with very little judicial action against such a heinous crime. I'm not sure which is worse; the number of people who didn't have any clue and were completely shocked, or the fact that I wasn't surprised at all.

Plenty of people in the world to care about. But with 6.5 billion people and limited time, there are many that slip through the cracks and out of our scope of knowledge.

The day wasn't a complete somber-fest. I had probably the best hand-holder next to me in church. (Hand-holding/shaking is a lost art...)

That little "cool" factor

2009-05-21T06:04:00.000-07:00

An area I'm still adjusting to is that I'm not used to being "Cool". Quakers aren't cool. We're spiffy, but not cool. We sit around in our family groups or are collections of people over 50 and enjoy the quiet.

In new-churchville, there are multiple group singers and musicians, discussions about Darth Vader equals Sanhedrins, and endless references to Facebook.

During our weekly "turn around and greet people section", I found at that a gal I went to high school with was sitting right behind me. She'd since moved to Oregon with her husband, but was told that this church was "the place to be".

...? That would never have happened to me at my Quaker homestead. The only high schooler I've ever seen there was the one I brought there -way- back in 1998. Oy.

I suppose as long as God is present it doesn't really matter... either way I'm just going to wear my same jeans and simple shirt. Sorry, no flashy/neato purposefully untucked button-up shirts or blazers for me. ;)

The sights and sounds of defeat

2009-05-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

Arrgh.

One of the many things I enjoy about having a "newer" church is that nobody really expects anything from me. I don't have to help with offering, no one knows I have sound board experience, and except from "kind of" helping to deal with LCD projectors? They really don't know what this little projectionist can do to assist their service. So they don't ask. So I get to sit in the audience and just be one of the crowd with no responsiblities.

However, this doesn't mean that the service runs smoothly without me. It doesn't. At least one song a service, the powers that be will lose track of what's going on and be incapable of keeping the songs advance on the screen. Lyrics get fuddled. Guess what, we don't have any hymnals or print outs to help us along! Once you folks mess, I pretty much resign myself to being done with the song and hoping you figure it out in time for the song after that.

The nice side of me wants to believe that they're trying. That they aren't getting paid for this, and they're just attempting to help out in whatever way they can. Plus, I don't have to worry about running AV for two churches.

The perfectionist in me wants to turn around and yell up at the booth, "What are you people doing up there?! They just said the first line they're about to sing, find that slide and you're golden! C'mon now!!!"

Sigh.

I enjoy being able to mingle (even though I don't do it much). But I also enjoy a good performance. You don't see me allowing dirt on my screen at work, do you?

So I either adjust to the fact that I'll be grumpy for a song or two, or I get off my lazy little church-bum and find myself in the same position for two churches. Neither sounds very appealing.

You're not supposed to have "lesser of two evil" decisions to make when you're just trying to worship God, darnit!

A trivial matter, to be sure. But one that just doesn't want to go away...

Sick of Flu-stuff

2009-05-04T14:08:00.001-07:00

I'm an touchy-feely kinda guy. I hug. I embrace. I grab coworkers by the waist and pull them off their feet.

Which means when I get little notes and comments from church telling me that we're going to be skipping the hand holding at the end of church? That we should respect others' wishes to keep their germs to themselves and vice versa?

Sigh.

My immune system is rather spiffy, so I suppose I can't really complain about too much. But I don't especially enjoy standing across from someone, talking to them with my hands safely tucked into my pockets.

I suppose it all works out for people you really want to hug though. "I love you so much, it's worth getting sick just to be near ya!" A swell pick up line, sure. But I'll be happy when this whole paranoia of "the bug" is over.

One day...

Gettin' those relationships...

2009-05-02T17:43:00.001-07:00

When I started this whole church-search thing (which, in case you've missed me sayin' so, is over. I'm a stick-with-what-works kinda guy. I feel fine, thanks), one of my goals was to meet some nice, cute, interesting Christian gals.

And I have.

More importantly, I'd like to think I have a pretty fair start at a friendship with a rather interesting gal. We've e-mailed and now we're even Facebook pals. Awww....

Oh yeah, and she's engaged. (Twist!)

Yes, I will take whatever relationships come my way. Jogging buddies, church compatriots, female acquaintances, and even "more". But I'm rather content with what's come my way.

First off, she's a nice gal. Interesting. Family had a rough start, born Jewish, just got baptised last week (or is that last-last week now? I dunno.), an interesting person to be sure.

Then there are the cats at my small groups home who are ridiculously tiny and cute and don't mind me picking them up and mercilessly petting them. ;)

I have the people I can't live without. I have my associates. My coworkers. My fellow congregates. And some folks that are a gloriously messy hybrid of the above. All in all, I'd say I have a stash of interesting and amusing relationships.

Besides, if you're working on a relationship with Christ, why not start off with other mere mortals? They're good people, darn it.

See it, believe it; ideally, both

2009-04-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 13:12 "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face."

I see things much easier and understand them much deeper when I have a picture right in front of me. People always tell the single person that "there are plenty of fish in the sea." The phrase becomes downright annoying and trite. However, when that single person gets out into the world and actually sees all the people around, it rings true and the cliche aspect falls away.

For me, it is rather hard for me to know that I'm surrounded by Christians when Seattle doesn't exactly encourage following the mainstream religious beliefs. Great for people who don't want to be locked into "a certain way" of worshiping, but rather poopy for someone who just wants to talk about God with someone. My delight was rather high up on the scale when I sat in a school auditorium on Easter Sunday, realizing that I was in a room full of people who shared the beliefs that I did, and most of them were around my age. Quite encouraging.

My Mom has no interest in watching Saving Pvt. Ryan or The Passion of the Christ. She can imagine the horrors and details well enough in her brain without exposing herself to that level of gore or pain. Myself, I don't think I need to see every heinous crime re-enacted for me on screen to know that the world is in trouble. However, I would offer that the visual now and then can come in handy. I own Passion and have seen it three times since it was released in theaters. That's just about right for me. I can get an idea of the kind of suffering that Christ suffered and appreciate the fact that it clearly wasn't easy for him. He didn't want to go through that sort of pain. Hits it home a bit better for me.

One of my favorite persons in the world isn't really looking for a church. She is considering the idea of going to a Quaker meeting, but she and her fiancee are rather content to see God in nature. To take examples from what is all around them and apply it to their lives. I can relate.

After a reasonable sermon at church, I trotted off to my quasi-regular jogging location, and started circling around. As I passed a rather large grass patch, I noticed that some folks had taken quite the span of time to erect thousands and thousands of plastic white crosses. After my run I went up to their little tent and found out that it was the Northwest Memorial to the Iraq War. They were quite nice people. They weren't saying war is good or bad. Their group is made up of all kinds of folks. They just wanted to remind people that war costs lives. That people from all over the world, (Australia, Germany, Iraq, Africans) were dying. They wanted people to process the million+ people who had died in a war. By the crowds they had and the attitude I saw of people walking though, looking at all the names, I'd say it worked.

No, don't visualize everything. There isn't time and I am pretty sure it would start to lose its effectiveness. You think you are over-inundated now... oy. Still, visuals help. I think that's why Jesus was such a fan of the parable. You can hear something and think about it in church, but seeing it in front of you can make all the difference.

Easter-ized

2009-04-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

Y'know what the difference is between a guy who has lived all of his conscious life in a church of 40-60 people versus a guy who is visiting an Easter service so large that they have to borrow a school's auditorium? Or have you guessed already...

Folding chairs, we were reduced to folding chairs! I started off pretending that I was going to be okay in timidville, sitting about four rows from the back. But then I saw the green-cushioned chairs, which looked much more comfortable than the all-metal chairs I was currently sitting on. No one was going to notice, people were still dabbling with adjustments, so I went ahead and sat in the third-from the front row. My tushie thanked me. Two hours later, I was quite fidgety. I can't imagine what it would have been like in those metal chairs. I shudder to think.

I'll give the pastor credit. He tried. He tried darn hard to get me to stay after and enjoy the Easter meal. I see-sawed on the issue. The better part of me likes to think that I have the skills to introduce myself to a room full of strangers and get all kinds of chatty with them. Then there's the normal side of me that cherishes the one day a week I'm guaranteed no work. A nice couch at home, a stack of DVDs, and a sleepy cat all awaited me. I helped pack chairs into the truck, looked around the crowd... and the lazy side won.

On one hand, I missed my old church. Not one single person greeted me with "He is risen!" So naturally I couldn't respond with, "He is risen Indeed!" Sigh. The pastor did toss it into his sermon, but he had to say it again to get a response from us.

Looking at hand #2, I'll admit one thing: It's nice to look at a crowded room and know that you're among Christians. That there are hundreds of people around you that believe in God and want to do the right thing.

I'm not saying one service would have been better than the other. I'm not sure which one I would have liked better. But it's one more change I have to either get used to, or learn to do without.

Oh, how to worship God. It's a back and forth, I tell ya!

Just leave me be

2009-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

Howdy,

Happily, the chapter I read in Acts today and the chapter that was preached on yesterday were essentially the same topic. Even better, I agree with the message!

I was reading in Acts (9? Methinks?) about Peter being given the dream about the net with all of God's creations and how everyone is created by God. Everyone is "good enough".

In church, they discussed the section in Matthew where Jesus goes to the temple and knocks over the tables because of all the shady deals that are happening. They're charging high interest rates for exchanges/sacrifices, making it hard for people to worship in their way. Jesus is trying to take out the middle man so that they can just go to God. Be "enough", as they are.

Sometimes I'll dress the part. When I first started going to Quest I wore slacks and a button up shirt. Sunday, being Easter, I may very well go back to that because it's a "special occasion". That being said, I'm not really one for bending to other people's expectations.

I'm a scruffy looking kind of guy. The hair ain't fashionable, but it sure is manageable. My goatee isn't perfect. Odds are, if you look hard enough, you'll find a cat hair. I look "fine", but never pristine". I like my bible with duct tape on the edge. I don't care that my front bumper has seen better days. (Stupid snow)

I'm quite glad I can be a leper or a prostitute and still be loved. (Neither of which I aspire to. Still, good to know I have options) Sure I'll help be respectful and respectable when I need to be. All in all though, I'd rather ya just take me at face value.

Out of the "office"

2009-03-28T13:52:00.001-07:00

As far as protocol goes, I was a pretty lousy Christian.

I wasn't in church once! No home church. No new "hip" church. Nope, instead I was partaking in the Big Climb. Annual fundraiser to get folks to give money to leukemia and lymphoma research. In return, I walked up a flight of stairs. Twice. (Shrugs) Somehow it all works out and they get mucho dinero.

The on Monday night I skipped small group (c-group, bible study; call it whatever makes ya happy) because a friend of mine was having a CD release party. I still have a cassette tape he made in high school. When you've been friends for 13 years... you're kinda obligated. ;)

With all that, it felt like a bit of a God-less week. I have two female friends who I absolutely love to death and can't imagine them being unChristian. But they both say they don't feel like attending church right now. Actually, I can think of three. One doesn't like the feeling of forced community, one didn't like the gossip that was being portrayed as "Christian concern", and another decided to do what she wanted to do and became ostracized from her Christian peers.

Feels like the church (as people) kinda failed those gals. I live a pretty quiet life, so there really isn't any gossip to deal with. I slide into church, have a good time, and can slide out with as little conversation as I please.

Still, the Sunday service focuses me. The Monday night bible study teaches me things I hadn't considered before. I value those kinds of experiences.

I didn't pray before I went up the stairs. I didn't bless my friend's synthesizer before he started to perform. No, I read my bible some, did my standard praying in the morning, and hoped that God was taking care of my friends. Not as God-less as I made it out to be.

With all that said, I appreciate the weekly touchpoint that Sunday services can provide.

Now we'll see how well I can attend and enjoy both services I plan to go to tomorrow. (I still think 3 ours of churchness is a fair chunk!) Toodles

A Sunday with no church. And I'm planning it that way!

2009-03-21T14:35:00.001-07:00

Yes, scandal of scandals; this is the one Sunday a year where I plan to skip church.

http://www.llswa.org/site/TR/Events/BigClimb?px=1071381&pg=personal&fr_id=1040

I figure it falls under the purview of Jesus healing on the Sabbath. (No, I'm not claiming to be just like Jesus! I'm just sayin', if it's good enough for him...) Hey, it's only one Sunday a year, right?

If nothing else, I consider it a way of thanking God for sparing my best friend and letting her survive cancer.

Best case scenario, I get some folks and friends to donate to a good cause. I get nothing out of it except exercise and time with my loved ones. (Well, maybe I'll get a mug and t-shirt. Nothing of "significant material or financial value", how's that?)

Breakin' the rules. And still okay with it. Go figure. ;) I reckon God'll understand and forgive me.

Who knows, God might even bless me too!

Active, Involved, but not Employed

2009-03-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

I have an agenda.

There, I said it. I still feel that it is a pretty harmless agenda, though. I think it would be nice to have conversations with people in church.

I know! Scandal!

Two Sundays ago? Sat next to a nice little couple, quite delightful to talk to. Had a brief chat with them this week while I was engaged in a task, and I actually remembered them and their faces. What can I say, in a new church I want to engage people.

Old church, I pretty much know everybody. I don't need to sit next to them during church, I can converse with them afterwards quite easily. We can just pick up where we left off and not have to worry about "who you are and what you're about". Just hop right into the details.

New church, not so much. I know -maybe- 3 people in any given Sunday. Odds of me sitting next to someone I know? Unlikely.

Which doesn't mean I don't see opportunities to help. For example, their slideshows? Arrrgh. Half the time I just want to run up and find out of they are paying attention. The singers jump around, I admit. All singers tend to. But sometimes the slides are just plain bad. However, if I'm up there running the powerpoint? Well then I'm just back in my role from the old church, and I'm unlikely to converse with anyone. Not my ideal scenario.

My small group is trying to organize a blood drive, so we needed to make an announcement. I'm quite used to yelling at large crowds of people, giving them information, and letting them return to their anonymous existences. I volunteered for the first sermon. No one seemed willing to "have a presence" for the second services, so I gave the shpiel for that one too. (For the record? The second shpiel was -much- funnier. But they only laughed at one joke! Oh well.)

Helping out where I can interact? Where I'm allowed to engage people? That I'll do.

Being trapped in the same surroundings I'm take the here-and-there break from?

Nope. Not yet.

Changin' It Up (From the comfort of my own couch)

2009-03-02T13:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the exception that prooves the rule.

Normally I'm only to happy to go to church every Sunday. Get out, surround myself with Christian folk, and sit up straight in a chair. (I still maintain that it is physically impossible to sit up straight in a wooden pew for any length of time greater than half an hour.)

Emphasis on "Normally". I don't know what it was yesterday. Maybe because I woke up late from my morning nap and would have had to rush. Maybe my commute to Ballard/Belltown is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just a lazy son of a gun. For whatever reason, I ditched the outside world. I don't think I even unlocked the door all day. Stayed home with the cat and the couch.

My standard Sunday consists of a barrage of tv-dom, and yesterday was no exception. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. The Incredibles. Stargate: SG-1. Still, I figured I needed something resembling a sermon/message, so it would have to be either VeggieTales or The Passion of the Christ. My stomach is stronger than my mom's, so I went for the second option.

I'm still impressed by the movie. Take away the buckets of fake blood and it really is a beautifully shot flick. The moody building where we see Judas make his deal. The shots of the moon as the clouds roll by. The hilltop where it all happens. My favorite part is where Jesus is building a table and has a nice conversation with his mom. Good stuff. Helps me see Jesus in a more human light.

For example: Jesus is walking (perhaps limping would be a better description) with his cross on his back, trying to get up the hill. His mom sees all this and tries to run to his side. The look in his eyes (Jim Caviezel was quite excellent, as always) just showed how much he cared for this woman. It brings up a quote/idea which I fully subscribe to;

Don't ever underestimate what a person will do for someone they love.

I find that to be mind-numbingly true. People will stay in battered relationships. They'll endure hours of childbirth or midnight shifts to cover the bills. People will absolutely throw logic and caution to the wind if it means helping someone they care about more than themselves.

So when I see that look pass between Jesus and Mary, I don't see a fake-blood soaked actor in a foreign country with carefully planned cameras and lighting. I see someone who loves this person, and countless others, and is willing to undergo whatever suffering and agony he has to in order to save their lives.

If someone said I could save the lives of everyone I knew by being shot, I'd like to think I'd still do it. (Doesn't mean I'd like it...)

Kudos also go to the person that helped Jesus carry the cross. And of course, to one of my favorite people in the bible, the criminal. He sees Jesus up on the cross, bleeding and dying. If there was ever a time when you could doubt this person, it would be then. But that's the time that he chooses to believe and asks Jesus to take care of him. Bruised, cut, and soon to have his life expire, Jesus still takes the time to care for someone else.

Yes, I'm aware that there may be historical inaccuracies. The cross may have been shaped like a T, not a t. Maybe this person was here instead of that person. I don't really care. Details are just that, little things to make a picture clearer. In this instance, all I care about is the story.

The story is of a man who went through inordinate suffering (I'll spare you the cinematic details. It's rated R for a reason) just to take care of the rest of us. Many who he didn't know at the time. So I got a reminder of that.

Sounds like a perfectly good church service to me.

Like the Michael Jackson song says...

2009-02-23T15:02:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am ashamed to be using Michael to introduce this writing. But I couldn't think about a more interesting way to chat about, as the song goes, "If you're black or white".

One of the things I appreciate about both my churches, though probably moreso the newer one, is the willingness to have anybody and everybody come in. I think it goes pretty evenly for both churches, but since Quest is bigger, you get a broader spectrum. In my home church, I have a black man married to a caucasian and they have a little dark skinned youngin. I think he's quite cute. And I'm thrilled that nobody minds in the least. (Why some would find it offensive, I'd rather not get into. But I know there are people out there that do.)

In church on Sunday, I took up my usual chair in my new church. I sat where I always sit; the middle of the middle. Around the second or third song, up came a couple who plopped down next to me. He was Korean, she was caucasian, and none of us really seemed to care. They were both perfectly friendly and delightful, and they seem happy together. What more do I need to know?

Over in a nearby section was someone who had a distictive lesbian vibe to her, and my understanding is that there are about twelve homosexuals that attend. Okay. God loves everybody, right? Do I need to follow a stricter guideline than God's? I don't think so.

Be different. Form interesting couples. Add some flavor. I'm quite the character myself and I slap the "Christian" label on my forehead. Works just fine for me, so who am I to tell others to do otherwise?

A little change o' pace

2009-02-17T11:15:00.001-08:00

Sometimes my favorite church services have been a completely unplanned mess. Sometimes ya just gotta chuck the sermon to the wind and let God work in God's own strange ways.

In my home church, if the pastor feels like they aren't supposed to give a message, they won't. Both the current pastor of the church and the one before that. If God tells them to sit down and shut up (which I'm sure God does in a kindlier, less offensive manner), then they do. Maybe we'll end up singing songs out of the hymnal. Maybe we'll all just listen to what's been going on in other people's lives a bit more than usual; hear how God is working in their daily walks. Suits me just fine. Sermon, no sermon, it works.

This Sunday was a bit like that, and it was a nice change of pace. Sang some songs, had some announcements, and then a fellow (Trace Bruno? I think?) who was in town and is having a concert next month came up and played a song on his guitar. Watching a guitar player is always more fun that simply listening to one. He was moving his little wooden clamps, slapping the paneling and the strings, he clearly has his own style and has spent quite a few years on it.

Then they called up some gals from The Sold Project (www.thesoldproject.org). They tried to show a video... let's just say this newer church of mine has some difficulty getting their AV act in synch. They callled up the two gals, and we got a quick little lesson on the international slave trade, and how The Sold Project was created to confront the problem through helping people in Thailand and educating folks about what was going on. The DVD played, and we heard a little bit more about it.

Following that was a brief sermon about the disciples who cured the slave girl of her prophecy gift, and upset the masters because they had been deprived of their income. It referenced the scripture a little, but mostly it built upon the importance of being aware of slavery.

Then we sang some more, Trace played some more, and there was that grand ol' communion. I don't think we focused on any one aspect of church for more than ten minutes in a row. It would probably be a bit too fragmented for my tastes to do it on a regular basis. For this one time though, it was a nice break from the norm. Got an education on all sorts of things. All focused around God. Not too shabby.

Quaker Catholic?

2009-01-28T05:52:00.001-08:00

Y'know, many a time I think that Catholics must be nuts. Going to church every morning. Enduring hours long services. Marriages that feel like marathons. The baptism, the hierarchy, the rigid structure. Catholicism always struck me as the army of Christianity. Ya do what you're told, ya follow the rules, ya work hard at it, and it all comes off as a first class operation.

I don't know many Quakers that have crossed over to Catholicism (or vice versa).. My "brand" of Quaker tends to be more liberal. We can do without a message. We can be loosey-goosey and go where the spirit leads us. We're encouraged to read our bibles everyday, but we're going to be okay if you feel the need to skip church every now and then.

This is not to say that I am not drawn in by certain elements. I think a strict structure would keep me on my toes. I'd probably have a few more scriptures memorized, which wouldn't be the worst thing. Besides, if you can survive all those sermons, you'd have any troubles with ADD beaten.

Yesterday, in particular, I was struck with the idea of confession. From where I'm sitting, it is a required version of someone to talk things over with. How could that be a bad thing? They're pastors, they have to forgive ya... right? You would always have someone to talk things over with. Shoot, you'd be encouraged to.

I have friends. I have co-congregants. Still, I'm hard-pressed to think of someone (other than Mom, of course) that I talk to about God-stuff. Yes, everyone has their own walk with God and it is deeply personal. So personal that sometimes people don't want to talk about it. But ya toss that confession in the mix and you get yourself quite the little release.

Doesn't sound like a terrible idea to me. Even if I do prefer being loosey-goosey.

Getting Centered

2009-01-19T07:42:00.001-08:00

Howdy,

Sunday was a distraction kind of day. There's someone who has been on my mind, and I'm planning to dress up as Batman this weekend and walk downtown for a few hours. ...it's for work. Honest. I sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to take my mind off of little world things in my life that don't really matter and focus on God.

Went into church, took a seat, closed my eyes, it was starting to work. Well, it didn't help that I work under the Space Needle and they picture they showed was of the Space Needle, but still. Every little ounce of progress counts, right?

Songs were going well. I had a nice voice singing behind me during the first set of songs. I even turned around and complimented her during the awkward-chatting-social time, but she seemed to think it wasn't her; that there was some better voice behind her. (I checked over my shoulder later. It was her. Humble, good for her.)

Of course, during the message, the scripture was being projected onto the screen in front of us, when all of a sudden there was a loud -pop-. In my 6 days a week life, I play with LCD projectors all the time. I thought to myself "They either flipped a breaker, or they popped the bulb." The projector didn't come back to life (which makes it really hard to sing along with songs). And I noticed the red and green lights on the projector were blinking away. That means two things: A, it has power. So no break issue. B, when lights blink that much? It is either a warning or an indicator. No good.

So I spent the rest of service thinking about the bulb and wondering if these folks had any idea what was going on and if I should go up to the pastor and tell him and if the bulb could be replaced by the next service which was only twenty minutes away.... sigh.

At least I got the gist of the message before I was horribly distracted. Thirty-forty minutes being focused just on God... that's something, right?

And as a bonus, I got to stand on two wobbly ladders after the service. Can't say I didn't have fun...

Sleepiness

2009-01-16T12:00:00.001-08:00

I'm starting to wonder what my small group thinks of me. I'm a reasonably intelligent person, a lifelong Christian, and I don't smell like a musk ox that found its way into a garbage heap. Now if only I could stay awake.

Here lies the problem. I tend to have a double shift on Fridays, which usually means I'm at work for around eighteen hours. If I have a double on Saturdays as wel, then I'm in a world of sleeping hurt. Sunday is my day to catch up on sleep. After church, I come home, crash, and end up becoming one with the couch. The problem is, when I sleep at two in the afternoon, it makes it much harder for me to be asleep at two in the morning.

Such was the case with me this Monday. I had woken up at two a.m. Nothing more I could do about it, no more sleep was to be had, I was just going to be awake. I arrived at work around five a.m. Worked/ was there until about six p.m. Took a friend for hot chocolate, basically just tried to kill time until my small group at seven thirty p.m. If you have started doing the math, you can get why this is intrinsically difficult for me.

My brain tends to decrease in function around eight or eight thrity at night. I find it essentially useless to try and read. Then try and combine that with the notion of being upright for the last nineteen hours. By the time small group is over, I have usually been awake somewhere around twenty hours. (Using the term "awake" as a sliding scale")

That's all just build-up to this question: Is it worth it?

Usually, yes. Somehow I can sneak in a half hour nap and that carries me through until ten p.m. Or I get a Friday night off. Something. In those moments I find that the conversation is intelligent and God-inspired and I can hopefully add to it. Or it can be like it was last week.

My newest "trick" is to start standing about halfway through the second half of our meeting and just lightly walk back and forth. Hopefully it isn't too distracting; it is the only way I can maintain consciousness. This week I outdid my self. I had the bible on the chair in front of me, I was leaning over to read the bible, and I think for a half a second I nodded off because I felt my vertical stance slipping and I jerked my head awake. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep whiile standing up?

I would much like an earlier start time, but the morning people of this world, including myself, have to have some disadvantages. I just hope that I'm not disrupting anyone else there and that they understand that I'm trying.

Moral of the story: Naps pay off. Embrace them.

Here's hoping I get points for trying..

Group Hug. Well, at least gather...

2009-01-12T06:42:00.001-08:00

I rather like my alone time. My cat tends to provide more than enough interaction for my day to day routine. (Especially when she overeats and get to interact with her meal. Sigh.) However, my churches don't really see it that way.

At my newer church, the pastor gave a sermon on the sacraments, specifically communion. To him, communion is the one thing at church that he will not skip. He can leave out the sermon, the songs can be glossed over, everything is up for grabs if it really needs to be. Except communion. To him, communion is the defining way in which we interact with God, and participate in a physical remembrance of what Jesus did for us. Due to the grand importance of the manner, he feels that we should be sharing that experience. He thinks all experiences should be shared. He won't do private baptisms, private weddings; none of that. He is all about the group/community experience.

And because I'm a wild and crazy guy, (thanks Steve Martin) and because it was the first Sunday of the new year, I figured I should just go to my old church and check in with folks. Talked about my parents coming to town, talked about people and their jobs. Heard about people's sons and general church day to day stuff. Nothing horribly earth-shattering, but I was certainly able to slide right back into that group pretty darn easily.

I like doing things on my own. I spent pretty much all of Monday just being by myself and watching movies. After church on Sunday, I essentially did the same thing. Reading, movies, I like things quiet. (One very strong reason why I can't live in downtown.) It isn't that I plan to stay single all my life and become crazy cat-man who sits on his front porch in his rocking chair yelling at kids as they throw things at his house. (To be fair, although I do have a cat and a rocking chair, I have yet to acquire the front porch. So I'm safe for now.) But I'm all for convenient interaction.

I read my bible on my own. I pray in my head or when I'm alone in the car. I enjoy my bible groups and interaction, sure. But do I make the effort to connect with people around me? Share the church experience? Well, let's just say that I don't always go to the fullest row of seats...

Yeah, "doing church" as a group is something I've sort of dropped out of, if I was ever that good at it in the first place. I often sat on the "youth" pew, but with the exception of the cute girl I had a crush on here or there, I was just as happy to sit with mom (she had candy) or by myself (more leg room).

I guess that means I have to talk to more than two people a week, huh? This is gonna take some work...

I'm Critical of Critcism

2008-12-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

Not so very long ago, I listened as a man addressed a group of Christians. He was responding to the concept of whether or not the world was worse off for Christianity coming into existence. Wars have been fought in God's name, religious persecution; a fair amount of misery might be blamed at the feet of Christianity, so was it really worth it?

I of course argue no. That while people's attempts may not always go as I would like, their intentions were hopefully to further God's kingdom. In my view, it is the every day little decencies we perform that lead us to a belief in Christianity, not the wars and attacks that we're a little too quick to jump to.

Well, the leader's response was to start off with, "All due respect, but" and then went on to call this specific author he had named an imbelic, uncomprehensible, dumb, moron.

... : Uh huh...

Now, I have my opinions about people. There are actions that my friends and coworkers do that simply boggle my mind. I'm not stupid, I'm not flying off the charts, I'm what I refer to as: smart enough. I'd like to think I'm smart enough not to replicate this mistake.

Look, the specifics don't really matter. It was a respectable enough fellow addressing a group of Christians. Knowing that much alone, I would argue that most would agree that different actions probably should have been taken. Singling out one author and calling them unintelligent because they think differently? That we think things through in opposing manners? That's not being stupid, that's offering up a possiblity for debate.

Bill Maher and I think very differently. But he, in so far as I can see, is no dummy. There are people that have been President in the past few decades that I think were unwise in their policies and how they executed (sometimes, literally) those policies. But having acknowledge our differences, I wouldn't go so far as to call them evil.

In my book, God is love. Insulting someone and claiming they lack intelligence seems unloving; unkind, if you will. I like to think that we, as Christians, can be better than that.

I like discord. I don't like how it frustrates me when others won't agree, but I do appreciate that we can all see things differently. It just solidifies my beliefs in my head and sorts them out that much clearer.

Church goes kaput, Worship does not.

2008-12-26T11:45:00.000-08:00

Howdy,

It was only last week that I was bragging about what a steadfast churchgoer I was. How I would weather (heh) the storm and get my kiester to church. How I was a church attending machine!

And then this weekend happened.

Sigh. I'm a stubborn twerp, but I ain't completely stupid. And as I found out on Monday, the Sunday service was nixed anyways. Hence their online note: http://www.seattlequest.org/blog/2008/12/worship-home-guide-sermon-1221

Sermons via online!

Now, myself? Not a fan. One of the reasons I didn't really fit into Mars Hill was because they're "polished". Their services are created with a certain televised aesthetic in mind, and that's just now how I like things. I prefer intimate/ close up. I think that's the reason this little video sermon thing doesn't repulse me quite as much. My experience with this little video that the Quest folks put up is that it maintains a one on one feel. (Probably brought on largely by the fact it was shot in his home office, the lighting is funky, and he didn't edit out his reaching for the camera buttons) ;)

I can see the appeal of online/broadcast sermons. I do. If you just can't make it out of the house (newborns, weather, elderly), it certainly is better than nothing. Sure you sacrifice the presence of a person who's actually looking at you the same time you're looking at them, but there should still be a God-sent message, right?

Eh. I think someone would have to really sell it to me to get me to do it every week. I want the face to face. I'm quite content to stare someone down and tell them I think they're wrong. I tend not to, let us have our little God disagreements, but a pastor can tell if an entire audience is shifting in their seats. There are visual cues to keep the speaker in check and help them realize if the sermon is "clicking" or not.

And wouldn't ya know it, their Christmas Eve sermon, where they always get a packed house, was cancelled too! But no online video/guide, so maybe they figured one a week as enough. ;)

So, after having 3 church shindigs killed off by snow in the last ten days, I'm realizing a few things. A: I like the face to face. I don't really relish the drive, but I like the interaction. It's the only Christian to Christian time I can count on.

B: Sometimes you just can't make it. It is not enjoyable, and one can at least try... but sometimes you're just gonna stay put. The end. (Hospital stays come to mind.)

C: The internet is a good way to announce to the masses that you're closed. Perhaps even offer up a substitute to those folks. But it doesn't cover everyone. (I have no internet at home, and that's the way I like it!) They'll figure it out for themselves eventually.

Or so one hopes. :D

-PC, a media major, but a face-to-face Quaker first

The lengths to which I'll go (and drive)

2008-12-20T09:39:00.000-08:00

Howdy,

Well, I'm now listed on blogged.com. And I told them I updated this weekly. Sigh. Guess I'd better stick to my word, huh? ;)

To any of you outside my county, I'll just tell ya that we got plenty of snow this week. (And those of you around know that our definition of "plenty" is 4-6 inches. Midwesterners, we ain't.) I will also let you in on a secret that no one in Seattle will actually admit to: We can't drive in the snow. It rains in the majority of the year, and we can't even handle that action. So when ya toss snow into the mix... well, the city pretty much shuts down. In fact, I often comment that there are two kinds of people in Seattle. Those that don't know how to drive in snow, and those that think they knew how to drive in the snow. I'm in the first category. Ten years of driving and I have yet to chain up. I know to use 2nd to drive up hills, but other than that, I'm a twerp. I give people as much wiggle room as possible.

Now, a smart person would stay home on a Sunday morning instead of venturing out into the snow. ....so I ventured out into the snow. Happily, everyone is chicken and afraid of damaging their precious car. I am above such material concerns and figure God will take me whatever way God chooses (i.e., that "stupid" element). I think my car skidded once in forty-five minutes. I did just fine. Drove to Ballard, went to church, and not surprisingly, the attendance was about 1/3-1/4 what it normally would be. A shame, because there was actually a pretty good sermon on marriage. I don't think it was quite the eye opener he wanted it to be (he definitely was feeilng the time resetraint), but there were some good points made. My noggin' will retain, "Sleep together, eat together, pray together, talk together". I know! It's like it makes sense to spend time with your spouse! Go figure.

Then along came Monday and small groups. The snow had basically been cleared off, the steep hill I drove on was mostly bare (yay!), and I think everyone who planned to attend showed. So kudos to our mighty group. (I really like my Monday night group. An eclectic mix of folks, ages, and backgrounds, but they're all good people in my book.)

Then came Wednesday night. Heh. I want to say it snowed in between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, but I'm not one of those people who will stare out the window and watch it snow. I tend to take it as it comes. And unbeknownst to me, who doesn't have e-mail at home, an e-mail was sent out saying that the meeting was cancelled due to snow. So I take my little car, sit in stop/crawl traffic, get through the ice in my city, hit the city that the meeting is held in? It's like I walked through the wardrobe opposite C.S. Lewis's. In two minutes it went from snow and ice patches to completely dry. There was nothing. Nada. No flakes, no moisture, goose egg. I parked my car, walked up to the door stop, and had a sense of dread when I saw that they only had on about half the lights they normally do. Rang the doorbell, and on the third try, they came down and told me about the e-mail and that it wasn't gonna happen.

And here's the kicker... when I finally did check my e-mail at work? There was no e-mail from them! I'd been left off the list! So I would have driven out there regardless. ;) God enjoys humor. I've decided.

There ya have it, I am a stubborn guy who was raised not to miss church. Will I allow myself a mental health day now and then? Sure. But I'm wary about skipping church too much and getting in the habit of finding excuses not to go.

Two blogs ago "anonymous" and I had quite the little chat. I'm going to guess it was a she, but we'll just call them "anon" for short. (It has nothing to do with their position! Their sentence structure strikes me as feminine! Sue me. [Side note. Please don't sue me. I like what little comic books I own.]) Anon feels called to go out and preach to other countries. I don't. But I do feel called to drag my sorry bum out of my apartment and make the effort get to church, even if it is a little "messier" than normal.

So yes, I'm a fan of exerting oneself and making sure the pews are filled. But yes, Seattleites are weather wimps. And we all know it. What can I say, God made some of us more "special" than others. ;)

An Introvert. When not in church.

2008-12-08T15:45:00.001-08:00

Howdy,

I like being by myself. I like sitting around thinking. I refuse to move to the city, instead opting to live 12 miles from my work because I don't like the hectic surroundings. I haven't had anyone over to my apartment in about a year, I don't frequent bars, and nine times out of ten I go to movies by myself. I have a fairly regular jogging buddy, but I was say about one fourth of all the laps I log are done alone. I get two to three phone calls a week and I would love a three day weekend where I didn't have to talk to anyone.

I think it is pretty safe to say that I have my introvert side. Probably a large part of why I'm eeking up on thirty and am still quite single. Still, there's one notable exception to this.

Church.

When I'm in the sound booth at my home church, I don't think it really counts. It is hard to focus on God's presence while wondering who is going to want the wireless microphone next. (Not impossible though. God's presence can be rather loud/rude/pushy.) However, upon visiting church as an attendant? Not just a sound volunteer? It's a different experience.

I enter church alone and expect to leave church alone. But in the between, I like a little pew company. (Happens to me on the bus too, but I like it the reverse. Somehow I seem to scare off people so that I'm one of the last people with an extra seat beside me. Comes in handy when my legs are crampted, but I wonder what it is.) The seats are arranged in rows of six or seven, and I plop myself down right in the middle. The LCD projector tells me too! "Slide in to make room by the aisle!" Honest!

I guess the "outsider" part of me wants to know that I'm not -that- scary and that people are okay sitting by me. The "stand and greet your neighbor part" is half awkward/half delightful to me. I don't do small talk well. I'm quite content to jump into your mom's heart attack while you're losing your job. Let me at it. But we only have a minute or two until the pastor wants to talk. So there's that...

Then there's the holding hands after church. Honestly? Unless you're in a leper colony? I think every church session should end with holding hands. Temples too. Social gatherings, the whole thing. (Come to think of it, if we're in a leper colony, they're already sick too. Go ahead, hold hands!)

I have yet to encounter slimy, sweaty hands. And you give a little squeeze at the "amen". It's good times.

Yes, I've found myself looking forward to it. So much that I was getting a little distracted when singing and just closed my eyes and let it be. I laughed to myself that I was hear for God, not for some seatwarmers who happened to be around. Yeah... focus on God. That's the ticket. When I foucs on God then I'm doing what I'm here to do. If God wants it to happen it'll... and then somebody started singing right beside me.

;)

God knows what I need. Can't always get what ya want, as they say. Still, ya trust God, and whether you get what you want or not, it all seems to work quite nicely.

Focus on God. While at church. It is the simple concepts that throw me off. Maybe if I got that tatoo I was pondering... nah.

Toodles

Mission for Missions?

2008-11-24T14:31:00.000-08:00

Howdy,

First off I have to comment on the fact that I don't have any bible groups this week. I have an entire week between one schedule church activity to the next. !!! And I find it odd how quickly I've acclimated to 3 "services"/gatherings a week. Helps that I have good people in both groups. Ah well, next week will be here too soon...

Once again I've been asked to care about everyone. Specifically people out in the other parts of the world and for anyone who might be in need that I'll ever come across. Oh, and for those that would come in contact with those that I don't know who are going out into the world. : You can see how I'd feel a little overwhelmed and detached at the same time.

I'm all for spreading God's word. If people feel called to go out and do that in other parts of the world? Kudos. I don't. At all. Never had a traveling bug, and God's going to have to invoke some major changes if I'm supposed to go out into the world. As I am right now, my brain would implode. That's one thing I can't really relate to.

The other aspect is that the church leaders come right out and tell us what people aren't legally allowed to be missionaries. What people are breaking the law by being representatives. That I have a problem with. I know God is bigger than any law, but I have a hard time supporting this breaking of laws so intenionally, so that's another strike from me.

Look, I'm all for caring about people. I like doing the whole pay-for-the-person-behind-you-in-the-drive-thru. If I see somebody I feel I'm supposed to help, then I try to help them. But I don't feel obligated to help everyone. And I have a hard time caring about people in other places. If God puts someone on my heart, then of course. There is that whole distance/disconnect.

As for homeless? All the government and homeless agencies say to give them food or give to shelters. There just aren't enough beds in times of cold. If I have a granola bar, I hand it out. If I feel led to do something, I might.

The question is, am I doing enough?

Kudos to church for making me wonder, and every good deed you do, you do for God. So I have no problem being wary about how good I really am.

Pew peeps

2008-11-17T12:15:00.001-08:00

I attempted this last week, only to have the internet eat my typing. Let's try this again...
There are interesting folks one can sit next to in church. For example, I've encountered a person who sat two seats away from me, and her singing still hurt my ears. I don't know if it was her volume, if she was shrill, of if her singing just didn't jive with me, but the ear closest to her was in pain. Literally.

For some people, it's the way old people smell. As for me, I once had to ask to change seats in Spanish class because the girl next to me had strong perfume that made my eyes water. I tried to downplay it, but she had to go and ask why I was changing seats so the teacher told her. Sigh.
I wouldn't be shocked if there were still churches where black and white folk didn't sit next to each other. And I can guarantee you there are churches that don't want divorced people or gay attendants.

The problem with ths is that God didn't come to save a certain group. God certainly isn't here for the elite. Who are we to decide who's "worthy" of sitting next to us in the pew? Yeah something about them might bother us. Sure there are probably aspects about at least one guy that will seem "off" to you. I know a gentleman who is known for cutting his fingernails in church.

The simple point: Church is for everybody. Off key or not. Smelly-bad or smelly-perfume. Divorced or widowed. And since we're all gloriously messed up, we don't get to say who God deems as worthy or who God is out to speak to.

Embrace everybody, that's the message I've always heard. Just... y'know, don't get offended if I happen to pop in an earplug. ;) (I don't have God's eardrums. Maybe your joyful noise causes me problems!)

Take care (of each other too)

With the homeless, or against them?

2008-11-08T12:57:00.000-08:00

If my pastors have one common theme, other than the generic Jesus/church/love/compassion, love to chat about giving. Giving outside one's means. Being a joyful giver. Give what God's given you, give like there's no tomorrow, givegivegive.

Makes sense. I have my share of material things and I find that they don't really make me that much happier. (Though there are those rare comics and movies which make me explode with gooey happiness.)

Anyhoo, apparently the next two services at Quest will be about giving. Challenging us to donate beyond our means. Since the economy is less than fluffy, half of our offerings will go to homeless shelters/food, and the other half will go to help out those in our church community who find themselves in a financially complicated situation.

I tend to think that I'm used to doing my part. I may not give extravagently around Christmas, but when God calls me to pony up here or there, I do okay. Make with the fundage. Let's just say I'm not the worst human being on the planet.

Transfer train of thought to my work. I work in a coffee shop with quite a few homeless folks around. They smell, their money smells, and I've had food spat on the floor, threats made... Look, some of them are quite nice. But some of them quite obviously have mental states that are not the norm. On Wednesday, a fellow of "suspicious" attire and manerisms ordered a tall coffee for his friend, and he wanted a white mocha. I told him it was $5.16, and he pulled out a $5 bill and some change. He left $.15 on the counter, and I asked him if he had one more penny. He then growled, threw an extra dollar in change at me, snatched back his $5, and pulled out a $20. During this transaction, he muttered that I was a, "...", uh... well, it was two words, both considered vulgar, and suggested a gesture which I don't plan on ever engaging in. (Let's just call it "rude" and move on.) He then went to pick up his drink and told my supervisor that someone should talk to me about my attitude. (I have plenty of 'tude. But I assure you, it was not on display for him that day)

Next day? Thursday? He shows up again, clearly recognizes me; as I do him, and orders his white mocha. Looks at me suspiciously, takes his change, and walks away. Through Wednesday and Thursday I had some non-fluffly thoughts. "This is the kind of people they want me to donate to? This is the kind of jerk who can't even treak me like a human being? This mentally defunct twerp who swears at me for no reason at all? I'm supposed to care about his well being when he seems to have $20s to toss around on fancy drinks?"

I didn't wish ill will on him. I don't really desire for anyone to be hit on a bus. But I wasn't in the mood to be his new best friend. I was ready to never see him again. I can get people banned from the store. I can get security to ban people within a 3 block radius. Technically I'm the victim of abusive behavior, and therefore am entitled to respond in a safety-first manner. Basically, I have the right to refuse service to anyone.

But that's not really the Christian way, now is it? Jesus was more than cursed. I figure until I'm physically assaulted, I'm doing pretty swanky. (Oh, relax, parents. I'll be fine. Sheesh.) I may not like the guy, but I'm still supposed to love him. Care about him. Make sure that I hope for the best for him. But do I have to give him money?

Well, big picture? It's not him. It's thousands of people around who are perfectly nice people too. He's in there, sure, but there's a whole mess of folks just trying to get by and feed their family. He's just the squeaky wheel. Still, do I feel like helping him? Like I'm supposed to?

I looked at my bank account. There's a figure that popped in my head. A figure that seemed unrealistic. Especially since I had an envelope from my dentist at home, one more epilogue in my 4 month waiting period with insurance. My dentist never mails me a plastic envelope unless it is a bill. My hopes for meeting that figure will low... Until I opened the envelope this morning. It was a check. (!) For several hundred dollars. (!!!) Maybe they'll adjust the figure later and as for money back, but I doubt it.

In the meantime, it seems that I have this calling to give, a group that is in need, and the means to do it.

Kinda makes a better-left-forgotten grudge seem rather pithy, doesn't it? I mean, God worked it out so nicely, the least I can do is follow suit, huh?

Caring. 'cause God says so.

2008-10-31T16:13:00.001-07:00

Howdy,

Not much news on small group front. I've been working/sick. (And perhaps sick of working?) ;)

However, that just means I pay that much more attention in church!

We, like everybody else, have been talking about money. In both churches, actually. My "home" church takes a more truthful/pessimistic view at it. Talk of things getting worse, prophecies of harder times, what have you. "New" church (gotta figure out how to label these two with better names...) takes a friendlier view.

First off, we're blessed. Ridiculously. Go to www.globalrichlist.com. Type in how much money you make a year. Myself, I'm in the top 5% of wage earners. I have a relative who was in the top .001%. (No, you don't need to know who.) The point is, we are quite well off. Shoot, I work a part time job and a non-profit! And I'm apparently sitting on top of the world. Even if my rent is a greater percentage of my income than I'd like... ;)

I was told to have no problem making money, but to give away that money. Okay. Fine by me. I care enough about money to pay my bills. At the same time, I'm trying to have something resembling a savings account. (A task which my car likes to laugh at. Often.) Still, I like to think that I tend to do what I'm told to do. I give when my gut gets me. I figured I was pretty much covered.

Then he had to go and make it personal.

That's right, he brought family into it! People! Sigh. People are my weakness. I'm an introvert. If I know you and you're cute and like to play Scrabble, I may think you're delightful. But more often than not, I'm quite ready to just sit around and shut out the world. Scratch the cat's ears, watch tv, enjoy a good comic book. But calling up my siblings? Seeing how they're doing? Having conversations about their children while they cry in the background. (I should clarify: It's the kids who tend to cry in the background. Well, usually.)

However, Facebook has been a boon in that regard. Easier to check in. That darn website also makes my family harder to ignore. They're right there! Activities and everything! Which just makes it that much more tempting to never call them... even though I know I should. What can I say, it's a work in progress.

My family of friends? There I like to think I'm covered. There are my speed dial people. They know who they are. I call them and leave long messages. I'm e-mail them, get tired of waiting for a response, and e-mail them again. My "chosen" friends.... really, they have no escape from me. I do care about my family. It's just a nuclear/radioactive/what-the? kinda of family.

Still, if there's room for improvement in how I give? Especially time/compassion-wise? It's with people.

But... but... comic books have big pretty pictures! They call to me! ... I know, I know. Like I said, work in progress.

Groups: An Assemblage of Personalities

2008-10-17T12:16:00.000-07:00

My group that I attempted to go to a few weeks ago? The one where I was the only visitor? Well, they met again on Monday. But I slept in. Oops. What can I say? My Sundays have mutated. I go to church, possibly my other church, then go home. Watch some tv, fall asleep, watch a bit more tv, then fall asleep for real. Which leaves me waking up around midnight or 1 am. And when your groups meets Monday nights @ 7.... well, it makes for a long day. I'm only human. Here's hoping for next week?

I did make it to a second group in the middle of the week. Let's just take it down to simple-ville, shall we?
-Pros:
Very friendly, welcoming leader
A guy recognized me from church
Gathered to worship God
Didn't get lost on the way (Yay!)
Talked about how bread=life in the Hebrew concept, how meals are intimate. A concept I'd never known before

-Cons
Bunch of people I've never met... can only remember ~ 3 names now
Goes until 9:30. My brain shuts off around 8:30
Yet another trip south in the middle of the week. Over an hour driving for 2.5 hours of talking
Tended to drift off of the God-topic for tv/humor discussions

and oddly enough? The one I had the biggest problem with? They were discussing how last year they would get food from a bakery. Well, more specifically, a bakery's dumpster. The food is tossed out still in the packaging. A: They're old enough to know better. B: Yeah, I'm a bachelor, and I'll eat food I find around... but really? Serving to a group? C: It's illegal to dumpster dive in Washington state. Ever-so illegal. So I don't think a Christian Group should be happily breaking the law.

Nice people, different way of thinking, and a whole new world for me. (I obstained from communion. Which is a bit harder in a small group/circled/in someone's living room.)

I know I work next Wednesday, but after that? I dunno. Good company, but not quite sure if the group is a fit for me. Or my tired, sick of driving, ways.

You find what you're not looking for

2008-10-11T15:01:00.000-07:00

I have myself a new church. A new laptop. A new fall season (especially the TV season) is upon us. Oh, and we get to vote for a new President. New new new. Is it any wonder that I find myself with a new purpose?

Getting to my churches is... well, interesting. I can get to NSFC in about twenty minutes. Quest takes me at least thirty-five. Going to both is... well, it makes for a long day. I had my new route all planned out, and sure enough, I arrived at Quest with ten minutes to spare. I'm not much of the meet and greet type, so I sat in my car and pondered. I have all these things. Concepts, talents, technology. It's mine to do with what I want. And I'll admit, I could use something to take up my time. Distract myself from "being single", and all that goes with it.

Over the ten minutes in my car, I figured something out. A project, of sorts. I had just obtained the final pieces that would make it work. I'd started out doing something, but over the years I've done less of it. And I have these talents that could be added to it. And I have this technology that will help with it... Before church, I had a pretty full-fledged plan of what I can do to fill my little corner of the universe, and hopefully promote Christian beliefs.

Of course, I was distracted a bit during the message. But I do remember Pastor Eugene telling us that we should be about something. That we shouldn't just go to church and have that be it. That life wasn't going to be perfect. We should be trying to change things. Trying to invoke God into our lives. (Ideally, into others' lives as well.) Which is exactly what my project I came up with should do. In theory...

So yes, it's taken about a decade. Perhaps a little more. After all this time, I think have an inkling of something that just might help a few people. Not grand, sweeping, "save the world" change... but every little bit helps.

God and I have a few bugs to work out, how it will all work practically, but I'll let ya know when it has a visual form.

Oh, it'll be visual. I promise. ;)

-Not- the end.

Gather ye people! Or.... not so much

2008-10-04T12:58:00.001-07:00

Howdy,

Yes, Monday was my first C-Group. An opportunity for folks from around the area to get together and discuss things one on one. Emphasis on the one on one....

I thought I had given myself plenty of time. Left PSC ~ 7:15, and had to drive up to Queen Anne. Then up the hill, take a right... oops, missed the right. Go up to the next block, take a right, finagle a u-turn... make an illegal left (ssh!), go around the neighborhood... and repeat for aobut 20 minutes. Look, I admit that I get lost, but those neighborhood street signs? The white letters that are supposed to relfect on the green background? Yeah, they don't. I can't read those dang things for jack squat. Sigh. I showed up to the 7:30 C-Group around 7:45. ...and I was still the first one there.

Turns out I was the only one there.

Yep, nothing says togetherness like poorly attended functions! ;) Now, the family who was acting as hosts are quite friendly. Amiable. Offered me pie and tea, asked about who I was, we talked about the economy... it was quite a pleasant little 30 minute chat. However, it felt very much like I was a lone fellow invited over for dinner. Not so much a group.

Apparently it takes a few weeks for people to figure out the whole group thing. Assemble. Line up their schedules. The organizers said they'd let me know when more people were ready to come.

On the one hand, I became acquainted with a very nice family. On the other? Well, let's just say i was aiming for "the more the merrier". Hey, at least I didn't have to worry about elbow room or finding a comfy seat!

The Changes That Fall Brings

2008-09-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know. It's been a while. (I'm actually mildly shocked that my Dad has yet to e-mail/message/Facebook me about my lack of information) What can I say, my search has settled and I've been using my free time at work to watch tv shows that I fell asleep too early to watch. Ya gotta love streaming videos (with less commercials!).

My main area of uncertainity used to be how many more churches I was going to cruise through. For the time being? The answer is zilch. Look, because the twisty road from A to B, it takes me about 40 minutes to get to Quest. If I choose to go to NSFC after that, then we're adding on another two hours. I think 4 hours of God time is a reasonable chunk out of one's morning. And that comes with certainty. I want to keep going to Quest, have time to pop in at NSFC... and adding a 3rd church? A fill in the blank visit church here and there? Uh, no. Don't have the energy. Besides, I've got my food in the door, people are friendly enough, why should I have to extend the effort to yet another church?

The real reason? I'm lazy. The other real reason? As I've argued before, if you start chatting with a cute girl and she wants to go out with you, thinks you're worth her time; ya don't go and start chatting up some other girl that same night! I'm not greedy. I've got two churches that work for me. That's fine. I might eek out here and there to explore other possibilities, but I was never much for the "because it's there!" sense of exploration. Not my thing. I'm content, I like content, content is better than where I was 2-3 months ago.

In addition, I have a new pastor to get used to. I'll admit to a small amount of concern when I started attending. First off, there's the whole introducing myself to a group of people who are complete strangers to me. But the pastor wasn't even in attendance! The main poo-bah was on sabbatical! How'm I supposed to get a feel for folks if their guy ain't around to chat with? Well, problem solved. He returned last Sunday.

Now, oddly enough, his name popped up on my Facebook on Saturday. Some of my favorite people (and solid Christians in their own right) are already friends with him. I had seen his name pop up before, but didn't realize he was pastor of -that- church. That was comforting when I put two and two together. Then I heard him speak on Sunday. He's quite relatable for me. Recovering extreme-introvert. Nerdy. Has to take breaks from e-mail/technology. And is on Facebook. (As evidenced by the fact that he friended me about two hours after I first e-mailed him. But one wonders about the sincerity of some with over fourteen hundred friends. Sheesh! Still, nice to have a well-liked pastor) ;)

Starting this next week? C-Groups. Yes, in their desire to fit in with Seattle culture around them, they took a perfectly good word, community, and shortened it to make it cooler. (To be fair, I knew going to their church that they run the Q-Cafe... so it isn't like I went into this unknowingly) They acknowledge that it is hard to get to know people, so they have groups that meet during the week at people's homes. I signed up for two. One in Queen Anne, and one for newbies. We'll see how it all goes. (Already it's easier and cheaper than -shudder- Equally Yoked. There's a way -not- to meet people. Yikes. Topic for another time...)

Clearly I'm alive. Enjoying church(es). Trying new things. Just in my own, timid, baby-step kinda way. ;) (Bring a camera to my IMAX movies, then you'll see me non-timid)

...and a response

2008-09-13T08:14:00.001-07:00

Apparently I'm in the clear. ;)

"Thank you for your questions, and for your honest and forthright manner. For us, it is not a requirement for those who attend Quest to take communion. It sounds like you have an understanding of what communion is all about, and that you choose to celebrate it in a manner authentic to your faith roots does not pose a problem for us. Obviously, we have differing points of view on some of these matters, but we can certainly still enjoy worship and fellowship together. We serve the same God, after all. :)"

So now the question becomes, do I really still want to church search? I mean, if you find a cute girl who agrees to go out with ya, do you spend the rest of your night looking for another one that you might like better? If you find a great beer at the pub, do you keep ordering different stuff, or do you stick with what ya like? (Yes. I just mentioned alcohol in a church-y blog. I'm reaching out to the common man in their vernacular! Deal with it.)

Yeah, there are two other churches on my "list". But how much do I really care about finding a new apartment to live in when the place I just checked out is welcoming in a new tenant with open arms?

But still... if I don't church surf now... then when?

"Too many questions... there's just too many questions!" -Riddler, Batman Forever

That e-mail...

2008-09-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

I've been putting off sending it, (lazy? forgetful?) but I finally dashed it off and clicked "send".

I like to think that it is respectful, just informational enough; and of course, gets my sense of humor and unique verbage across. (I didnt' feel this was the appropriate time to copy Mamet)

---------
"Howdy!

As of last Sunday I've visited Quest Church a total of 3 times. My first and most recent times (during the 9:15), you were the pastor. You're a woman I find to be blessed with an approachable sense of humor, and a preaching style that I greatly appreciate. So I'm posing my questions to you! (Congrats, chosen one!)

Short version? I'm a lifelong Quaker (runs in the family) who is discouraged by the fact that there are essentially no young folks in my congregation. I'm 28, struggling to find anyone to talk to 21-35. We're just not that kind of church right now. However, I don't follow the sacraments. I tend to believe that if they work for you, terrific. Go about, baptize, take communion, get circumsized. If that's how you feel closer to God, then by all means, go for it. But for me personally, I don't need it. I don't take communion because Jesus and I have a different sort of communion. Quakers tend to have their 10 or so moments of quiet time, and in those minutes, we try to open up to God and see what God has for us. I consider it to achieve the same goal.

So my main question would be, is that a problem for you folks? (Church, congregation, elders?) I have no problem sitting in the chairs while you folks go about it, but if you feel that what I do (or, in this case, don't) is contrary or disruptive form how you folks worship, then I certainly don't want to be an impediment to your gathering. I believe that people can worship how they will, so I don't want to get in the way with that.

That being said, if you folks are okay with my obstaining from the sacraments, then I see no reason why I wouldn't continue to attend. Your congregation has been quite friendly, I like your sermons, and as soon as I walked in the building, I just felt comfortable. (Your website is well designed and welcoming too!) What can I say, you folks draw me in just by living out who you are.

Any time on this is appreciated, and regardless of your answer, I appreciate what you folks are doing. Blessings and kudos.

-PC, oatmeal eater, God lover, and cat-scratcher

The Bible is one of the greatest blessings bestowed by God on the children of men.- It has God for its author; salvation for its end, and truth without any mixture for its matter.- It is all pure. -John Locke"

Home again. And visiting that second home?

2008-09-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend? Over. Summertime? Basically kaput. (This is the Seattle neighborhood. After the 2nd of September, you just expect some rain and see what happens. Sun is a bonus.) But the church hunt goes on! Well... I'm not sure "hunt" is the word I'd use this week.

I want to keep trying Quest. It's the first church I "visited", the first church whose website clicked with me (pun intended), and the fact that they are willing to focus on homeless and social justice? When the rest of world wants to ignore "bums" and go to war... well, let's just say we agree on many topics.

Plus, my "first" speaker was back. I like this Leah person. She'll admit that she's not perfect, while in the same speech, harass us for not sitting in the first two rows. Blessed with intelligence and a verbage that works for me. Music wasn't as great as a few weeks ago, but it still worked for me. The sermon was telling us how we shouldn't be forming little whispering groups, discussing "what do you think about what this person did?" No, if we have a problem, we should actually go and -talk- to people about what we see. Communication! Growing a spine! Two things I'm quite fond of. ;) Misunderstandings bug me. Now I just have to get off my butt and find out how much they care about me "shunning" communion. ;) Gotta practice what was preached, I suppose...

And since I went to the 9:15 meeting, that meant I had plenty of time to make the 11 at North Seattle Friends. Y'know, check in on the home front, catch those who hadn't been at camp the previous weekend, etc. Besides, I still like my church, darnit! I was headed up to my usual spot in the soundbooth (Look, I can sit up still and prooper in one service. But if I'm gong to two services, there's gonna be some slouching in that second one. I'm only so mighty.), Lorraine caught me and gave that non-verbal gesture/look that she had a litlte speech/explanation for me. I got comfy. Short version? She'd forgotten to ask for people to take offering, which I used to do, so while the last-minute selectees were coming forward, she informed those that didn't already know that I was on a search for the love of my life. Not how I'd like it all to go, but it is what it is and that's how it is. I'm flexible.

Regardless, she expressed a desire to have me come in front of the church and tell people what was going on so I didn't pull a vanshing Philip act. (Personally? I like vanishing Philip. Anyone who has visited with me will tell ya that I exit without saying anything. I don't see a need make a big entrance or exit. I draw enough attention already, I don't need more everytime I go from A to B. What you call "rude", I call... um... humble? Maybe it's just my introvert side.) I don't get asked to speak about myself in front of church, and I honestly have no fear of crowds, so I told her whatever she wanted to do was fine.

Since it is my church, and this is my blog, I shall summarize the speech in the under used, valley-girl dialect.

L- "So, I like, found Philip... who was out... like, I dunno... shopping maybe? Getting some totally gnarly threads?"

Me- "Totally. Did you see the shine on these boots? Aren't they like, totally awesome?!"

L- "To-tal-ly. Anyways, so there's been like, I don't know... a month? And like, before then, Philip was all like, 'Dudette. Lorraine. I'm like, totally bumming. There're like, I mean, nobody cool to hang with! I'm like, crushing for a posse to go hittin' it with, and like, there're like, no peeps anywhere! I'm so totally bumming! Like, foreves, y'knnow?"

Me- "That is -so- not how I phrased it"

L- "Whatevah! So like, Phil has been out on his own? Y'know, like, searching and looking and... y'know, like, not being here! And he's like, not hating on us, c'mon... I know that's so totally what you guys were thinking. But he's totallly awesome. And he wants others who are totally awesome too! Then he might like, bring those killer dudes back to us killer dudes, and we could be like... so -totally- awesome killer dudes!"

Me- "To-tal-ly. Fer sure."

Ahem. The only thing that really set my ears on edge (and caused a cringe, I'll admit) was that she stated that I was searching for my beloved. :

A: Never in my life have I uttered the phrase, "I am out to find my beloved." Ever. Beloved? Really? You don't think I could come up with a better word than that? Fellow flannel fan. Co-comics cohort. The shoelaces to my sneakers. The remote to my tv. Someone to keep me in check. But beloved? Come now.

B: I sort of put up my shields because it's about more than being single or attached. Would I
like to be single? Well, that depends. Am I going to call off this church quest just because I find there are no females I find attractive? Nope. Friends too! Don't discount the value of having females sure, but friends are still important! I have very few Christian friends. Especially in this area. I could use more! Like... y'know... more than 3. I'm just sayin'.

Let's just say that I was mildly taken aback that it was apparently me on some colonial wife-search. But again, I'm sure my paranoia was activated, what with "defending my actions" in front of the church. ;) Besides, all I had to do was tell them I was doing fine, say maybe three sentences, and go back to my booth to hide.

Oh, and I avoided the crowd of people around me. Ick. Look, I'm a hugger. I'm all for hugging. But a crowd up people all smothering you? That massive crowd that loses pretty much all intimacy? yeah, that's not me. You want to talk to me? Talk to me. The end. You want to pray for me? Go for it. But a big blob of people doesn't comfort me. It makes me feel like I'm one joker away from a bad game of pigpile. And I'd be the pig. Happily Lorraine asked about that beforehand, and I told her I don't do that sort of group activity, given the option. :)

Next week? I dunno. I want to go back to Quest, but I drove by a Greenlake church that seemed to have my demographic going into it, and I keep telling myself I'll go to Bothell Foursquare, even though it seems like the most impersonal of all churches on my mental list. No wonder I keep putting it off... ;)

Goin' back home... to Anacortes

2008-09-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

Nuthin' like goin' back to the ol' stompin' grounds (hence all the apostrophes).

Yes, I had always been planning to take a break from my church search and visit Quaker Cove. See, on of the upsides to attending North Seattle Friends Church is that we have our retreat out in Anacortes.

For supposedly being simplicity-loving Quakers, it can be a little fancy. Look at that! Two showers in one place? Flushing toilets?

And this is just the oldest changes. Inside our chapel you'll find what was once a fireplace is now a heating system, complete with spinning fans and vents! And there's a microwave and coffee maker in the corner! Myself, I'm still a little put out by the television I just saw there yesterday... Where's the escape from it all? Where's the nature? It's like people wanna be comfy. Well I want no part of it! ;)

However, the people and the place make up for all the "fanciness". People I've known all my life show up once a year and check in with me. Stories are swapped, spouses are met, jobs are checked in on. It's good times.

Oh, and for the message? A Quaker guy preached to us aobut the Quakerly way we could interact with the world. While talking about the first generation of Quakers! (Listen to God, know that there are truths which don't change [justice, love, truth], and apply those as best as you can through the current culture. But always remember that the relationship between you and God is what gave you waht insight you might have. That relationship is what matters most.) Needless to say, there was much less conflict of ideas than I've had in the past few weeks.

Besides, where else could we have an untalented talent show, and see things like this?

Good times. Well worth the break from "searching" through other places.

Church-buddies... and Distractions

2008-08-25T07:10:00.001-07:00

Howdy!

I'm still frustrated from spending several hours trying to get a video editing program to work the way I want. (Or rather... it ain't.) That, and I can't say that my church "experiences" were entirely helpful.

I have to say, I thought that going with other people would make this easier. Y'know, someone to talk to, maybe someone to make introductions. Uh... no.

First stop on (what's becoming a weekly event) my Sunday double header, Woodinville Community Church. Why? Because my brother and his family go there. Which is both a pro and a con. With the addition of communion and a nicer building, it is essentially the church that I grew up in. Same difficulty getting microphones and sound to work. Same kids playing with little activities, same people in church crying at a beloved member moving away. All things that I'm used to. But it also means that there's the same demographic. Elder-age folks, and families. And that's about it. With all due respect, that's why I'm taking a break from my church. To mingle among those my own age. Sigh. A perfectly nice service, what I'm used to, but I'm lookinng for different these days. Again, if I want that sort of thing, I'll just go back to my homebase. I like my home base.

Up front, I have to admit that the people I went with made a huge impact on the effect the surroundings had on me. Actually, it was the people that made all the impressions. Picture if you will, a 4 year old (her birthday's next month, I'm rounding) sitting to my left, and my sister-in-law and 1 year old niece (ditto the birthday) next to me on the right. I had never gone to any service with this family before. Wow. First off, when the church stands to sing, understandably the munchkin wants to sing. So I slung her up and held her by my "hip" for a song. then after the church says good bye to this person and prays for that mission group, we decide to sing another three songs. Which means I'm holding this 4 year old for 3 more songs. (Yes, I know I didn't "have" to, but even I have a macho side. Uncle-responsibilites. Etc.) Even after the service, my arms were still quivering. But I survived it, darnit! Oh, and about 1/3 into the sermon, she decided she was tired and needed a nap. On me. Apparently there's a precise way I should arrange my arms and lap to maximize her comfort. It is true, she made sure I knew it. How you parents can capture the entire service while taking care of two kids? How single parents can survive at all? Beyond me. I may sub as an uncle here and there, but I'm a bachelor, darnit! Whole new world for me.

Capitol Hill is not my world either. So when I struck up a conversation with a coworker Saturday night, I was surprised to find out that she had been raised Episcopalian. As I was talking about churches that I planned to visit, she made comment about us going to Compline service up at St. Mark's Cathedral. A Google search later, and we had plans to hit that 9:30 service.

The building? The intended atmosphere? Love it. The old building, The complete utter lack of computers or LCD projectors? Adore it. (Even the fact that they have their speakers on wobbly little moveable stands!) My kinda style. Keep 'er old, and keep 'er simple. Then there were the people.... oy. Look, I am all for relaxed. I wore jeans and flannel. I appreciate that people can bring blankets and sit/lay around the floor. I'm sure my grandparents would be horrified, but I don't think God minds you being comfy. You want a service that's half of a LASER show? St. Mark's. Including the cellular phones...

Oh. My. Word!

What is wrong with you people? It's not that I have two guys gossiping behind me throwing out works like "fucking" and "duschebag" while in church. I'll let it pass that you're throwing out phrases like, "Do you know what 'these people' believe?" No, your pew-pals get to send TEXT MESSAGES! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERVICE!!!! What is wrong with you people!?!?!?! Are you so completely self-centered and stuck on your technology that you can't get your heads out of your butts and TURN OFF YOUR PHONE IN CHURCH!?!? Ridiculous. Unacceptable. I about grabbed that dang thing and snapped it in half. But that wouldn't have been the best testament to my Quaker beliefs. Sigh. Okay, here's the thing. I can't judge. (Well, I can... but when has that done anyone any good?) But that's not how I was raised you behave in church. At least not if you're over 12 years old. And these folks were in their 20's. And I think all people should be allowed in church service. Prisoners of war, light skin, dark skin, native american, reformed nazis, jews, homosexuals, tax collectors, homeless, drinkers, burpers, yuppies... everybody. God came for everybody, so let everybody worship. And you can't know where people are in their walk with God. So I think anyone who has event a slightest tug to go to church should go and be welcomed. It's not who you are as a person that I dislike, it's what you're doing. And what you're doing with your phone just might drive me slowly insane.... Rude!

Ahem. Cellular rant, over. The service was only about 30 minutes long. A surprising length to me for such a traditional building. (I figure, the older the building; the longer the talking. Hey, it's how Catholics do it.) But then my cohort told me it's supposed to be done everyday. Plus, I have to freely admit to not being able to understand what the sam hill they were singing over there. Kinda like interpreting Celtic singing on the first try. Made a nice sound though.... Didn't feel God moving me, but I'm okay with not having that experience everytime.

So yes, the environment? The architecture? The intended mood? Fantastic. A nice throwback to -worshipping- God. Just check your me-centric 'tude at the door.

Again, not entirely God-centered Sunday. Quite distracting in parts. But entirely educational. Learning is never a bad thing. Just means these two ain't quite for me. So.... what is?

The Visitor to Another World (The Quest for Mars?)

2008-08-22T17:52:00.000-07:00

Week two, and I still decided to try out two services in one day. Maybe I figure the sooner I figure this out, the better off I'll be? Still, one service started @ 9, and the second @ 11, and they were both in Ballard. Not much for time "chatting with the elders", but I don't think I'd ever really do that on a first impression trip. If I'm intrigued, I'll come back. They'll get their shot!

First up on the 9am docket was Mars Hill. Now, I like myself the "smaller" services. I grew up in a church of 40-100 people, depending on the time. Churches like Mars Hill can seat that in one section. I know everybody in my church, and they know me (or so I let them think! ;) Heh.) My interest in this church wasn't really in any sort of membership interest. I'd talked to a friend who'd done an article on their sound. Then there was a coworker who regularly attends.

I was there about 15 minutes early and sat down, looking at all these little chairs around me. (Apparently mine is the only church that stew uses pews). A nice enough lady came by and asked me how I was doing, but once I responded with a cheery, "fine, thanks!", she was already on her way to the next group. A nice gesture, certainly. And while I understand you've gotta make the rounds, it seemed like quite the surface salutation. I do the same every day I work the coffee shop, so my grounds for picking on her are pretty thin. I should mention that the church did not feel like one. Building-wise, at least. Not even an angled roof, this building was located between the docks and the business district. Complete with a grey, square perimeter. Someone knew what they were doing because they put curtains up to bounce the sound around. Communion tables were placed around the room, but the most noticeable items were 3 LCD projectors, lighting up a main screen behind the podium; along with two screens on the sides at about 20 degree angles. Later on I would discover that the walls were lit with different colored gels. More on that...

I'll give 'em this, they know how to put on a show. Everything in that room was very presentation oriented. I'll be honest, it felt like I was at a Microsoft retreat, and we were all about to syngerize our efforts towards the implementation of new and exciting corporate policies. : Not my idea of church. But I told myself if this is how they get people's attention, that's fine. A man walked out and immediately his image was picked up by the camera which was non-discreetly located in the middle of one of the aisles. He had on his black shirt and jeans, then he and his band started rocking out to G-O-D. (It's a SAVED! reference, don't worry about it) The music was loud, but heartfelt. I enjoyed it, I wouldn't change that radio station.

After about 3 songs, another man came out and took his spot at the podium. When asked how we were doing, he received cheers and cat calls. ??? Yeah, not my usual greeting to my pastor, but okay... A congenial enough fellow, he stlll had that edge of "I've done this before, but I'm still workin' on it". He introduced himself as one of the "happy news" pastors, and told us he was probably going to burst that image. He started off preaching on Jonah, talking about how he probably wouldn't qualify for great missionary potential. What with wanting the people he was sent to help to die and suffer... I think we all pretty much agreed on that.

Somewhere in the one hour sermon (about half-an-hour more than I'm used to), he somehow ended up on idolatry. Still not quite sure how he made that leap.... Anyhoo, he went on to tell us that he used to be quite the outdoorsy type. Hiking, climbing, the works. Good ol' REI/NWer. Got into a snow incident, didn't have his gear on him, slid his butt down a cliff/drop. Injured himself, had to have rescue crews pull him out, etc. Now, because he got in an accident after being foolhardy and ditching the tools that would have helped him, he took it as a sign that God was trying to humble him, and that he shouldn't hike anymore. I'm not really a fan of judging what God tells another perosn, or how they hear it, so I figured, "Odd. But o-kaaaaaaaay. I guess."

Let's just say that he and I disagree. I think that God enables everyone to have different interests and passions. That we can use those interests to serve him, and that we can relate to others and become closer to God through those activities and shared interests. That God is happiest when his children are at play. And yes, I see his point. I understand that it is very easy to let something in your life become more important than God. That you can work on Sundays and skip church, that you can care more about your new sports car than reading your bible. I get it. I understand temptation and interests overshadowing God. But I feel like he was telling us that we should be monks 24 hours a day, everyday. That all we should ever do is focus solely on God. I offer, if you do it right? You can take God along with you and see God in your activities and your social life. Go to chuch, read your bible; sure. Be sure to add to that friends, social life, and activities that you feel God has called you to persue. Again, my opinion, I'm not here to say what's right and what ain't. Just what feels truer to my gut for my life.

Of course, he called us to repent. To take communion. To kneel. Nope. Pass. Am I against humbling myself? Well, I don't love it, but I do it. If God wants me humbled, God humbles me (and quickly. And effectively). So unless I feel a churning in my gut to do something, I stay put. No churnings. So no kneeling. Didn't ask for God to forgive me. I asked God to help keep me in check. I felt at peace with that.

The lights on the walls were probably the thing that freaked me out the most. When he was going off about us all being idol worshippers, the lights turned the walls red. !!! Fire and brimstone much? I don't need light cues to see into my soul, thanks. Oh, and all the doors were shut, with no windows. Curtains in front of the doors. There was no "subtle exit." They know how to keep a room. ;)

After that, I figured I'd go for something a bit more relaxing, and I headed up to the 11am service at Quest Church. I was there last Sunday and rather liked it. Wasn't thrilled that they seem to cherish communion so much, but I can not-quibble about one element of a service. Unless of course the pastor throws it into the spotlight.

Sigh. The sermon was supposed to be on Acts. Paul and another apostle are off visiting friends when they are called away to confront some guy who's claiming to be Jesus pt. II. The guy's a magician, and he serves this government guy. The government fellow asks to see the apostles, so of course the magician tags along and raises the apostles ire. They codemn the false one, and the governor is impressed. He wants to hear mroe from the apostles. False men are bad. Follow the true Jesus. That was the sermon I was expecting.

Nope.

I was looking foward to the pastor from the previous week. She was pleasant, funny, and seemed highly intelligent. The pastor that I heard the sermon from this week was a very different person. My only guess is that it is in her presentation style. She's very... hmmm... controlled. She says things with a sort of direction/order tone to them. Like she's trying to instill proper procedures into us, and if we mess up, the power plant will go belly up, and the city will be plunged into darkness. We should cling on to her every word because she is the boss. I like to think it wasn't intentional, but I'm a communications guy. I've taken speech classes. Her presntation style and mine are essentially polar opposites.

First off, let me say that the songs at Quest on Sunday were fantastic. I've never felt the urge to close my eyes and lift my hands, palm out, in front of me before. But I was grooving on the music, and I felt a pull on my thumbs. So I closed my eyes and lifted my hands. Felt good. Felt non-fake/non-planned. The woman who was singing (seemed quite pregnant) had quite the voice on her, and the church sounded fabulous. Big fan of the singing here, even if the techies do stumble with their powerpoints. (Truth be told, on most every song)

Then came the sermon. Somehow my introduction on Acts started off with the four cornerstones of their church. (I can only guess she was addressing newcomers?) She told us the four elements were prayer, worship, communion, and community. 3 out of 4 of those, I got no problem with. The 3rd one I think is voluntary. She clearly disagrees. About 5 minutes was spent telling us how we were there to take communion. How the most important part of us being assembled was to eat the body of Christ, and to drink of his blood. That was what really matters, and, I quote, "that is what this entire service is made around."

Look, I commune with God. I do. Why do you think I like jobs where I can sit around and not talk or have anyone talk to me? I go to that still, small voice, and I listen to what it has to say. In Quaker worship, we have at least 10 minutes of quiet time (okay, if we're in a hurry, it's 5. But we always have it!) where we listen to what God has to say. Pretty much the only way you can break the "rules" is to come in with something to say and feel you have to. Nope. You only say what God gives you to say. If you can feel closer to God by eating food, more power to ya. I won't tell you how to get to God. And yes, I realize he told his apostles to do it. But I figure that can be argued as a one time thing. I take the more mental approach to that closeness, and I spend concentrated time figuring out what I need to hear from God.

Now I'm concerned whether this church will let me be me. That's what I need. I can't fake being something else, and I won't. I like me. If God wants me to change, that's fine. And I'm content not partaking in a part of a worship service. Worship as you're called to. But if you're going to call me a poor Christian because I don't follow sacratments, if I'm attending "for unjust reasons", then you can take your judgemental ways and file it away. I don't need that kind of Christian relatioinship. Again, I like to think that's not what was being said. And the pastor that's supposedly the boss is still on sabbatical. But if I hear what I think I heard, as opposed to what I want to hear, then I'm gone. I don't need that kind of "friendship".
And so the search continues...

A-Questing goes a Quaker

2008-08-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

Howdy!

There were numerous churches offered/suggested to me when I started this little search. (And by "little" I mean, "what in the world do I do now?") Suggestions were mentally cataloged, websites were looked up, and my first church to visit was decided upon.

I like the look of Quest's jib.

Check out that website. It's friendly, without dumbing it down. They're God-centered, but not on a high-horse. They emphasize having all sorts of people in their congregation. And, wouldn't you know it, they could use help with their sound/powerpoint. (It's true. Sometimes we'd get through a verse before the next slide was advanced. When it worked, the singing was great. Guitars, piano, a little drum, nice voices. When the slides were off? Confusing, irksome, stress-inducing for someone who's been doing it for 14 years)

The church itself is in Interbay. Right near the golf course between Ballard Bridge and Denny Way. City-located, but not city feeling. I (due to my inability to turn at the right time) was a few minutes late, but so was the service. Not sure if tbey employ greeters or not, but I found a program, found my seat, and they started soon after.

The room just felt nice. Yeah, I'm not a fan of candles, but they only had 2 or 3, so que sera, sera. There was a youthful feel to the room, but not overly trendy. (Y'know, light brown and auburn colors spread around. Offset well by stained glass here and there.)

The speaker? (Leah, that day) She was delightful. Made little side jokes here and there, but mainly impressed me with having a keen intellect. She refused to give a "quick fix" or "checklist" to make us appreciate justice better. (The sermon was on Herod of Agrippa being killed and eaten by worms for not defusing claims that he spoke as a god.) She merely stated that she was human, that sometimes she wanted bad things to happen to bad people. That we should look around and take care of others kindly and justly. If you wrong some one, make amends face to face. Be kind to homeless people and help out with hunger. (Which led into a plug for a garage sale to feed the homeless. But they're actually helping people! Plug away in that sense.)

And I'm not going to lie to you. There were youth there. It was about half youth, half elderly. Some were couples, some were alone (in both groups). And no, I didn't partake in communion. I still believe that as a Quaker I can commune with God all day long, listening to what God has to say, without the symbolism of bread and wine/grapejuice. For me? I'll pass on the symbolism in this instance. I just don't need it.

Oh, and if you look on their website? They have an outdoor ministry! They think you can experience God just by being outside and being surrounded by God's creation. !!!! I just happen to believe that very thing. ;)

Yes, Quest is recommended. Much. I shall return. The 9:15 service was sparse, but there were plenty of people my age, and a crowd was gathering at 10:20 for the 11:00 service. I was impressed all around.

Then I went straight to my church. It was a 10 minute drive away, I had 20 minutes, and I figured I'd help start my journey where the last one had ended.

It was fine. Nothing really struck a chord with me. I ran microphones (was able to fix a high-pitched squeal), ran powerpoint (well, someone had the remote. But I turned it off!), and not much happened. More of the same. And I was tired from my morning/jog/cooking/one service already. I'm not sure I recommend trying to be alert for 3-4 hours of church in a row.

But where to next week?

Toodles

-PC, visitor (a label which takes much getting used to)

What the sam hill? (An intro)

2008-08-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Howdy!

Not too long ago, I found myself sitting in church, wishing there were more people my age. Or even, some. In the span of 20-35, it's pretty much just me as a regular attender. (I'm currently 28. We call that a "barren wasteland" in societal terms.) I e-mailed my pastor, told her I was going on hiatus, and received numerous words of encouragement from my church and family. (Which if you really want, are all available to read in this blog.)

Now that gives you the general idea of what this is all about. But to be more specific?

It's about a 20's something guy who has no trouble making friends, but is in Seattle, the 2nd-least Christian/religion seeking city (Hey, I could always be in Portland)
It's about a guy who's been single for quite a while, and has tried numerous methods (eHarmony is just silly, and Equally Yoked? Snicker-enducing.) of meeting Christian poeple.
It's about different churches, different styles, different buildings, but hopefully the same goal. (I.e, People+church=God time. Care for one another. Jesus is the way to salvation.)
And of course, it's about the things that go on in those churches that are amusing, silly, fun, inspirational, or just provoke a good yarn.

What can I say, where Church and my curiousity combine; I get Churchiosity. (Soon to be patent pending! Not that anyone else will use that phrase. Ever.)

Toss in some comments, send thoughts my way, recommend some churches, and lemme know what ya think.

Toodles

-PC, really likes typing. Especially on quests where he has absolutely no idea what he's doing